Rush Limbaugh, Fart Two: Fact Checker Job Application

So after yesterday’s whole Rush Limbaugh Batman thing I decided to check out his website this morning to see if he made a response to people pointing out his conspiracy theory built around an obvious factual error. Turns out he did.



In an incredibly lengthy post entitled World on Fire Over Batman and El Rushbo. He states in the first couple (of like a thousand) paragraphs that ” I made some comments about it. Doesn’t matter what. I have had more reaction to that than anything, including the Fluke thing.” He then goes on to state that he never said that Bane was created to dis Romney, that he made no conspiracy theory, this is the Democrat’s fault and about 5000 other words I didn’t bother to read.



After reading this I felt the same way that he did. Not that he never said that stuff and it’s all the left’s fault, but that people are blowing it way out of proportion. I decided to turn yesterday’s facetious offer to become his fact checker into a real one. Below is the email I sent him.


Bill Young Bill@youngnotions.com
10:20 AM (0 minutes ago)

to ElRushbo
Hi. I saw the whole media assault on you after your on air bit about the new Batman movie and read your response on your website and I have to say, I agree with you. Everybody blew this whole thing way out of proportion but when you’re in the public eye and say controversial things you’re going to be under more scrutiny than then general public. People are going to go over everything you say with a fine toothed comb looking for a reason to attack you.

That being said, I think you did misspeak. Although you say otherwise in your online response, I believe you honestly thought the Bane character was created for that movie as a jab at Romney. It’s a small error but it still is an error. I would like to help with that.

I want to offer my services to you as a fact checker. What I would like you to do is just email me a brief summary of the things you’re going to talk about on your show each day. I’ll make sure that there are no glaring factual errors on there that liberals can use to dogpile on you and send the summary back to you with any needed notes. I won’t attempt to edit or influence any content based on my personal beliefs, only check for statements that are easily proved false.

Now I should mention I do not believe that this will happen often but you are only human. Everybody makes a slip up like the “Bane” comment every now and again, you just get more criticism for it than most.

I should also mention that I am a liberal. I’m not a fan of your show and I don’t agree with many of the things you say but I want to do this for you and do it well because like you said, people are focusing on this little flub and it’s taking attention away from issues that matter. I would rather the left spend time arguing your actual views than a little slip up.

I expect to be compensated for this work (we are all capitalists here), should you choose to accept. I’ll allow you to make an offer for what you deem to be fair pay for this sort of thing and we’ll go from there. Please let me know if you’d like anything from me like a full resume or references. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Bill Young




In retrospect should have put something in about how hiring a liberal could be seen as “reaching across the aisle” and make him seem less biased or how if I screw up in my job he can just blame liberals for these slip ups (not that he doesn’t already). Whatever. I doubt he’ll even read this, much less take me up on my offer but a boy can dream.



Just a pic of Rush because posts with pics get more hits. Oh also this is his mugshot. From when he was arrested.

Let’s Talk About Farts and Rush Limbaugh Because They’re Pretty Much the Same Thing

Okay, I promised you people a fart joke so let’s get that out of the way right now. True story, one time I farted into my smartphone when the voice texting was turned on to see what it would type and it actually typed “poop poop poop poop”. No lie. Thus concludes the hi-brow portion of today’s post.

Now, conservative radio host and former youngnotions advertising partner Rush Limbaugh recently puked this conspiracy theory into a microphone. He basically suggested that the villain Bane in the new Dark Knight Rises movie is a deliberate slam at Romney –


I will BREAK your company’s overhead expenses by shipping jobs to third world countries!





So what he’s saying is that the Obama campaign either asked, paid or forced Christopher Nolan to make the bad guy in the movie’s name sound like a company that the guy he’s running against used to work for. Fart.



I’m seriously offended by this accusation. Not as an Obama supporter, not as a rational, sane individual. I’m offended as a nerd.



Seriously. Bane’s been around for nearly 20 years! I had the comic where he broke Batman’s back when I was a kid!



Between Batman, Superman and Wolverine, the early ’90s was not kind to superheroes.





It’s not just the comic books, either. Bane has appeared in pretty much every non-comic incarnation of Batman since he first came around. You can’t avoid the guy –



cartoon Bane!





Cartoon S&M Bane!





Uh… we don’t talk about Schumacher Batman.





He’s everywhere!





Even if Rush didn’t know about a 19 year villain (and sometimes good guy) of one of the world’s most popular comics, three animated shows and a shitty movie, doesn’t he have people fact check for him? I feel like he’d have a person that he’d give his daily sheet of talking points or whatever to somebody and say “Oh hey can you just make sure none of these things sound incredibly stupid?” If he does already, he should fire that person. If not, I’ll happily take that job.



Seriously. I will fact check for Rush Limbaugh. This isn’t even a ploy to make him look stupid. I will totally fact check for Rush Limbaugh and do the best job I can because if he’s at least not sounding stupid we can spend more time focusing on what a lying asshole he is.



I’m going to see if there’s a jobs section on his website or something.

Prom’s Coming and Romney’s Choices for Dates Are Not Looking Good

MSNBC has an article today speculating who Romney’s going to pick for his running mate. They’re calling it the “Veepstakes” because the only way they can try to make this sound remotely interesting is with a shitty pun.



Seriously. The stuff they’re speculating is just a bunch of bottom of the barrel no names and gimmicks. The primaries were such a bloodbath that anybody who lasted more than two weeks is out of the running because they probably had a TV ad about how Romney eats babies. Let’s look at the people that the media thinks Romney might pick.



Chris Christie

Gov. Christie singing with his band Blues Traveler.

Alright. I could talk about his years as a shameless lobbyist fighting for the government to deregulate energy companies (because the last thing they need is a tight leash) and easing up laws on securities fraud (because who really gets hurt in that?), his crazy budget slashing as NJ governor or his mob ties but let’s just shelve all that and poke fun at his weight.

Seriously, his name sounds like a chain of steak houses and he looks like he’s eaten a chain of steakhouses, booths and all. He’ll probably turn down Romney just because he’s scared that being a running mate may involve actual running. Ba-Zing!

It’s okay. I can make these jokes. I’m fat.



Kelly Ayotte

I see what you did there…

I get it. Going the Palin strategy of an attractive woman nobody’s heard of but this time make her a little less attractive so people don’t just automatically assume she’s a ditz. Maybe do a little research this time around and actually make sure she’s not a ditz (have her name a newspaper, make sure she doesn’t say things like as a resident of New Hampshire she can see Canadians out of her back yard or whatever).

Here’s the problem. She’s a little bit Palin and a little bit Bachmann. Ayotte’s batshit crazy and a total crusader. As a prosecutor in New Hampshire she sought the death penalty for a guy who murdered an off duty cop rather than life without parole. The main criticism comes from the fact that the death penalty is super expensive, costing over $2mil in appeals to date. It’s going to cost even more because New Hampshire hasn’t executed somebody in over 70 years. They don’t even have a facility to do so. They’re gonna have to drop another $3mil on top of all the appeals cost to build a facility just to kill this dude.

She also took a suit against Planned Parenthood all the way to the Supreme Court. She lost and had to pay Planned Parenthood’s attorney fees.



Rob Portman

Senator Whitebread McWhogivesashit

Rob Portman is a seven term (yawn) Congressman turned Senator from Ohio (yipee!). He… was the director for, oh God, the Office of Budget Management andas;dlkur zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (snore). My money’s on this guy.



Pawlenty!

T-Paw!

I really hope Pawlenty gets the nomination. Don’t get me wrong, I hate his politics. I just felt bad for him after his 11th hour snub in 2008. He pretty much thought he was going to get that nomination only to get beat out by Palin. All those years of ass kissing, ladder climbing and saying what he thought people wanted to hear and that was the thanks he got. You can’t help but feel sorry for the guy.

He’d probably make a fine running mate, too. He’s very obedient and if you throw a sweater vest on him he’ll kind of look like Santorum so that’ll get the crazy fundamentalist Christians on your side.

Santorum or Pawlenty in a sweater vest? Can you tell the difference?




Whatever Romney decides I’m sure it will be awful.

Let’s Piss Even More People Off.

I know that yesterday’s post was a bit polarizing. While I didn’t get any negative feedback I know that there are readers and friends that have opposing political views that might have been pissed off by what I wrote and that’s okay. I’m just one guy and when it comes down to it my blog doesn’t really affect any change. World keeps spinning.



So as long as I’m saying things people may not like I’m going to throw this out there. I think you should be able to wear socks with sandals.



The horror!





I’ve held this opinion for a long time. I’ve only shared it with a few people because for some reason the image of a foot wearing both a sock and sandal brings out the deepest hatred in most people.



Kill it! Kill it with fire!




I don’t wear socks with sandals. I’d like to but I’m afraid I’ll get lynched by an angry mob. It’s just not worth the risk for me.



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7En0z2A38c&w=560&h=315]



I know people have their reasons. On the rare occasion where I feel safe enough to tell somebody that I think it’s okay to wear socks with sandals I’m met with utter contempt. The weirdest thing is that the biggest offense people point out to me is not that it looks stupid (and I’ll admit it kind of looks stupid) but that it defeats the purpose. “If it’s too hot for shoes then it’s too hot for socks as well”. That’s like saying if it’s too hot for jackets then it’s also too hot for shirts.



Hate me all you want, America. I’m only speaking from the heart and standing up for what I believe in.



Here’s something the mainstream media won’t tell you about socks with sandals. It’s comfortable.



Think about it. Just put away your prejudice away for a second and hear me out. Have you ever worn sandals all day? Maybe you go to a street festival or outdoor concert? It’s hot as hell (which is why you’re wearing sandals), your feet sweat and rub against the straps and now you’ve got a scrape on the top of your foot. It sucks and now you can’t wear sandals again until it’s healed because it’ll just make it worse otherwise. That wouldn’t have happened if you were wearing socks.



Why do you think old people and Europeans wear socks with sandals? Because they fucking know it’s comfortable and doesn’t care what society has to say. Nobody under the age of 60 in America will go out in public with socks and sandals because they fear the ridicule. It’s bullying. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.



Come on! Who’s with me?



…anybody?



Shit. Fine. I don’t need your support. History will absolve me.



VIVA!

OBAMACARE!

THE SUPREME COURT UPHELD OBAMACARE 5-4, MUTHAFUCKAS!



This post isn’t going to debate whether they were right or wrong. This isn’t about trying to explain to the detractors that while Obamacare certainly has it’s flaws, it’s good for the country. This is simply gloating.



BOOM, BITCHES.





This post is all about poor sportsmanship. This is about doing the entire Thriller dance at the goal line, beginning to end, after scoring a glorious fucking touchdown. Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Fucking Court upheld it! We won! You lost! Booyah!



I don’t care if you think you think Obamacare is going to make us a communist country and it’s going to make the government round up all the senior citizens and shoot them and turn them into soylent green. I don’t care if you think people are going to jail and you’re going to have to wait five years to get a broken arm fixed. I don’t care if you think this is the end of democracy.



I think you’re wrong, but I don’t care. I don’t have to argue with you anymore. Obamacare was upheld by the supreme court and there’s nothing you can do about it! Ha!



I could try to convince you that it was the right decision. I’ve argued in favor of Obamacare many a time but now I don’t have to! It doesn’t matter if you like it, you just have to fucking deal with it.



Go ahead. Tell me I’m wrong. I invite anybody who disagrees with me to leave as lengthy a comment as they like detailing their views. You can back it up with links and statistics and personal stories all you like. I will simply respond with “nyah fucking nyah”.



This is America. If you don’t like it here, you can always move to Canada.

Bachmann: Pop-Culture Punching Bag?

Maybe if punching bags were filled with bat shit insane zealot bitches instead of sand or whatever.



The Star Tribune posted an article today about how poor ol’ Michele Bachmann can’t catch a break. Even though she has shied away from the media since she got her ass handed to her in the primaries and ended up $80,000 in debt for her trouble, celebrities still take jabs at her. Her special brand of crazy is inspiring a plot line in True Blood, Jane Fonda calls her “nothing but a hairdo” in Aaron Sorkin’s new show and Catherine Zeta-Jones cited Bachmann as inspiration for her character in Rock of Ages.



Now I’ve taken my fair share of jabs at Bachmann. So many that I can spell her name correctly without looking it up (one “l”, two “n”s) but I haven’t written about her at all recently because she hasn’t done anything new and exciting since horribly failing at running for president. The article is asking why Hollywood is still taking shots at her even though she hasn’t done anything newsworthy lately and republican strategist Sarah Janecek states “”She created a vivid picture in those presidential debates as the only woman doing just fine against the men. With her perfect looks plus her ideology, in the age of celebrity, she became one.”



According to republican strategists, doing just fine = 6th place in the Iowa caucuses and perfect looks = this –

I love how she wears so much makeup there’s practically lens flare coming off her cheeks and how her hollow eyes communicate nothing but insanity. SO HOT. Easy to see how she turned Marcus straight.





I’ll admit that the slams about her looks are low blows. While it’s baffling that Janecek would say in defense that Bachmann has “perfect looks”, it’s unfair to make sniping comments about her looks. It’s a double standard that women in politics have to deal with that sort of thing and Michele Bachmann shouldn’t have to defend how she looks. She’s a politician, not a model.



She especially shouldn’t have to defend her looks since she should spend all her energy supporting her horrible views on praying the gay away, freedom of light bulbs and the idea that God told her she was going to become president.



Frankly, we shouldn’t be talking about her at all. I know it’s hard. She’s such an easy target but if we ignore her she might just go away. She’s busy campaigning for re-election this year (check out the pics on her facebook page and play the “find anybody who isn’t white” game) and she’ll probably get re elected because her district is full of idiots but if we leave her alone she might just stay off of Fox News.



Fingers crossed.

Supreme Court Strikes Down (most of) Arizona Immigration Law





In a 5-3 decision, the US Supreme Court struck down most provisions of Arizona’s SB1070 “Fuck the Mexicans” law. While they upheld one of the most controversial provisions which lets police check a person’s immigration status while enforcing other laws if “reasonable suspicion” exists that the person is in the United States illegally, many of the provisions of the bill were gutted. Here’s just a few of the measures that were taken out in the ruling.


Sec. 4-A: If suspect is of Latino descent, officers may state “You ain’t from around here, are ya?” in leiu of Miranda reading.


Sec. 7-C: Police may pull any driver over who has a novelty “La Cucaracha” car horn.


Sec. 2-D: Citizens may shoot any Illegal Alien working at a job the citizen would like.


Sec. 5 K-L: $200,000 in taxpayer funds to be allocated for the construction of a giant catapult pointing towards the Mexican border. The catapult will be constructed by illegal aliens who, upon completion, will be loaded into the catapult and fired towards Mexico.


Sec. 1-E: Any employer who has illegal aliens in his/her employ does not have to pay them.


Sec. 1-A: The pejoratives “spic”, “wetback”, “cholo” and “beaner” are no longer recognized as hate speech.


Sec. 3-F: Any “anchor babies” (children of illegal aliens born in the U.S.) who’s parents have been deported will be taken to special education camps, brainwashed and trained to be emotionless, illegal alien killing machines.


For more information on Arizona’s SB1070 law, ask a stupid person wearing an American Flag T-Shirt.

World Politics

The political climate in this country has been incredibly heated and divisive. The whole Wisconsin recall election shows just how bitter and divided we can be as a nation when it comes to politics. Hell, I’m certainly not above it. I spent the last two days ranting on this blog about it and I think I’m still in an argument with somebody in the comments section of yesterday’s post.


I know it can seem childish to argue so fiercely about politics but as fierce as these arguments can get and as divided as a nation we may seem. I think we can all benefit from taking a deep breath and being thankful that we’re not Europe.


Seriously. Political shit’s crazy over there.


[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVqJ7JRLCmg&w=420&h=315]



So that just happened in Greece.



That was Athens parliament member Ilias Kasidiaris slapping around parliament member Liana Kanelli because another woman said Ilias’ party would “take Greece back 500 years!” Hitting women was totally okay 500 years ago so I guess he just proved her right.



The added irony on this is that Ilias has been constantly trying to prove that his Golden Dawn party is not a bunch of violent Neo Nazis.



People just think Golden dawn is Neo Nazi because their salute looks suspiciously like “heil hitler” (bottom left), their flag looks suspiciously like a swastika (bottom center) and they beat the shit out of immigrants.





So if you think the Wisconsin thing is bad at least it’s not Nazis slapping around communist women on televised debates.



It’s like that all over Europe. The Ukranian Parliament can’t even meet without it turning into a giant fistfight.



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXCSdJivHzU&w=420&h=315]



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fadIvRtayts&w=560&h=315]



Yes, those are two separate videos, two years apart.



Honestly, maybe Americans would get more involved with politics if politicians around here threw hands every now and then. It’s a shame Anthony Weiner got booted for being a pervert because I could totally see him taking a swing at a republican eventually.



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O_GRkMZJn4&w=420&h=315]

HEY, WISCONSIN! Epilogue (Sour Grapes)

Scott Walker survived the recall election. I kept an eye on all the news sites as it the results rolled in after the 8PM poll close and Walker hit the ground running. He was leading with a wide margin when CNN projected him the winner with just 20% of the precincts reporting. Pretty soon all the other news sites followed suit but I kept an eye on the tally as Barrett slowly closed the gap but in the end it wasn’t enough. Chalk up a win for the job creators and a loss for the job havers and job wanters.


Now I could bitch and moan about how Barrett’s campaign was set up to fail and Walker played dirty pool his entire campaign but that would just be sour grapes. I could point out how Walker’s campaign spent literally over 7 times the money that Barrett’s spent with 66% of Walker’s money coming in from out of state *cough*kochbrothers*cough*-






but that would just be sore losing. I could talk about how CBS reported voter suppression efforts that solely favored Walker but that would just be my wounded liberal pride talking.



I could say that even though he won he could possibly face indictment on criminal corruption charges but that would just be me licking my wounds and ignoring the fact that the voters have spoken.


So I’m not going to say any of that stuff. I’m not bitter. I’ll just sit back and be content that I live in Minnesota.


Dumbass cheeseheads.


HEY, WISCONSIN!

If you live in Wisconsin you should only be reading this right now if –



1. You’re wearing one of those nifty “I voted” stickers.
2. You’re under 18 years of age.
3. You’re a felon.



If you don’t fall into any of those three categories then you need to get off your ass and go vote!



…unless you’re in line to vote and are reading this on a smart phone. If that’s the case I apologize for yelling at you.



Seriously, though. Vote Walker out of office. The guy’s a douchebag. To sum up why for the few people who haven’t watched The Daily Show in over a year, here’s a short play I wrote called “2011 Wisconsin Act 10: A One Act Play”.


GOV. WALKER: Our state is facing a bazillion dollar deficit! I have concocted a plan to fix the budget! It’s called 2011 Wisconsin Act 10.

DEMS: (reads bill) Okay this seems mostly legit and we’ll totally sign this if you take out the part that seems to cripple or completely destroy state worker unions.

GOV. WALKER: State worker unions aren’t necessary! They’re useless and bankrupting the state!

DEMS: Okay well if that’s the case then why are cops and firefighters exempt from the whole “union kneecapping” thing? And what’s this whole part about firing state employees all willy-nilly if you declare a State of Emergency? We’re gonna head to Illinois for a while while you think this over.

GOV. WALKER: I WILL START LAYING OFF STATE EMPLOYEES AND FREEZE YOUR GODDAMN PAY IF YOU DON’T GET BACK HERE.

DAVID KOCH: …are they gone?

GOV. WALKER: It’s okay, lover. It’s just you and me now.

DAVID KOCH: Hold me.

(the two entwine in a tender embrace)

fin



Vote, ya cheeseheads!


Okay I know they’re making the hand look like the state but did they have to include the eastern peninsula? It looks like a weird, pointy 6th finger.