If you live in Wisconsin you should only be reading this right now if –



1. You’re wearing one of those nifty “I voted” stickers.
2. You’re under 18 years of age.
3. You’re a felon.



If you don’t fall into any of those three categories then you need to get off your ass and go vote!



…unless you’re in line to vote and are reading this on a smart phone. If that’s the case I apologize for yelling at you.



Seriously, though. Vote Walker out of office. The guy’s a douchebag. To sum up why for the few people who haven’t watched The Daily Show in over a year, here’s a short play I wrote called “2011 Wisconsin Act 10: A One Act Play”.

GOV. WALKER: Our state is facing a bazillion dollar deficit! I have concocted a plan to fix the budget! It’s called 2011 Wisconsin Act 10.

DEMS: (reads bill) Okay this seems mostly legit and we’ll totally sign this if you take out the part that seems to cripple or completely destroy state worker unions.

GOV. WALKER: State worker unions aren’t necessary! They’re useless and bankrupting the state!

DEMS: Okay well if that’s the case then why are cops and firefighters exempt from the whole “union kneecapping” thing? And what’s this whole part about firing state employees all willy-nilly if you declare a State of Emergency? We’re gonna head to Illinois for a while while you think this over.

GOV. WALKER: I WILL START LAYING OFF STATE EMPLOYEES AND FREEZE YOUR GODDAMN PAY IF YOU DON’T GET BACK HERE.

DAVID KOCH: …are they gone?

GOV. WALKER: It’s okay, lover. It’s just you and me now.

DAVID KOCH: Hold me.

(the two entwine in a tender embrace)

fin

Vote, ya cheeseheads!

Okay I know they’re making the hand look like the state but did they have to include the eastern peninsula? It looks like a weird, pointy 6th finger.