Last Thursday, Monday filed discrimination charges against the other days of the week, citing repeated accounts of being called depressing, difficult, and the worst day of the week.

Harassment and bullying started in the workplace over morning cups of coffee and hangovers from Sunday, but quickly moved to the internet in the form of Facebook statuses and LOLcats.

Here are some examples of harassment and bullying that Monday has included in it’s very lengthy discrimination case:

“A number of songs feature Monday, often as a day of depression, anxiety, or melancholy. For example, Monday, Monday (1966) from the Mamas & the Papas, Rainy Days and Mondays (1971) from the Carpenters, I Don’t Like Mondays (1979) from the Boomtown Rats, and Manic Monday (1986) from the Bangles.” -Wikipedia

Many of the internet images being passed around against Mondays:

It’s even recorded some slanderous words about it:

And even Youngnotions has been cited as anti-Monday.

But it turns out, the rest of the work week is just as depressing as Monday.

Reported in the Journal of Positive Psychology, a study found that people are just as depressed Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday as they are on Monday. Only Friday showed a slight elevation in spirits.

Monday claims that slander has caused it to lose its position of “first day of the week” to Sunday in America and on religious calendars, and fears if left unhindered, the trend will pick up in Europe and international calendars.

Sunday was unavailable for comment.

I’ve received the books for my son’s next school year. Sales are springing up in department stores everywhere. You can just sense kids trying to get that last bit of play out of them before being shipped of to our institutionalized classrooms to learn things.

In the Young household, the teenager goes to an online school, because we feel it’s the perfect balance of learning what you need to function in our society and being given the freedom to study things that actually interest you. A regular brick and mortar school was crushing my child’s natural curiosity, so we looked for something that encouraged outside study.

You don’t need to be in an online school to push your curiosity and learn new things. There is a whole world of online content at your disposal.

The most obvious are TEDTalks, where experts come in and give a talk on something. Here is a talk on Existential Risk.

Now, I find these talks fun, but not everyone wants to listen to someone talk about The End of Humanity. They want a more playful education. Well I’ve got you covered.

Crash Course is a YouTube channel that has informative summaries of sections of history, chemistry, and literature. I’m a huge fan of this course on Islam:

Why are there so many nerdy white guys talking? If these don’t appeal to you, may I present Thug Notes- video summaries and analysis of classical works by a Thug.

So go out there and learn something!

Recently, one of our favorite readers sent in an article about a boy who masturbated 42 times and died.

According to Douglas Adams, the answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42. Maybe he just wanted to test the theory?

It’s almost certain this article is a fake. It’s from an unrecognized news source and seems unlikely. But I always like to check up, just in case.

I’ve checked Snopes, Google, and other sites to get my “this is fake” verification. Nothing. Which means I have to do all the hard work myself.

Just like when I masturbate.

The first thing that should tip us off is that there is an exact count on the number of times he jerked it. As if someone was sitting next to his bed with one of those little clicker things.

“37 *click*….. 38 *click*….. come on buddy! Let’s see if you can do 4 more!”

I suppose he could have connected that webcam he had been reportedly telling his classmates about. But then, that’s a pretty weird detail to leave out of a news story.

But the thing that really tells me that this article is fake is that you can’t simply masturbate to death. People who have died during masturbation have done so from outside influences. Auto-erotic asphyxiation or toys misused.

I mean, what was it that actually killed him in jerking it too much? He ran out of semen and his body just shut down? He rubbed his dick raw and bleed to death? A heart attack?

But you can’t just “die from masturbation.” I know- I looked it up on a reputable source.

Yahoo! answers.