That Girl in the “One Weird Trick to Stay Asleep All Night” Ad

My friend Brody has said that I’m obsessed with search engine terms. It’s true. I’ve certainly written enough about the subject but one search term keeps popping up frequently on the site (actually, three do but let’s not talk about “foreskin man” or “kids fuck” today).


The girl in the “One Weird Trick to Stay Asleep All Night” ad.


There’s been over 30 searches from that (or a close variant) in the last three months. For those of you who don’t read the archives back-to-front on a weekly basis, the term leads to a post I did about stupid banner ads and this is one of the ads I so hilariously lampooned.

Haven't had a single zit since I started sleeping with an egg in my mouth.




Every week at least two search engine terms looking for the identity of this girl.


Who are you?




Frankly, I don’t see the appeal. She’s not unattractive but to have so many people try to figure out more about her? Am I missing something here? It’s probably because she looks like she smokes weed. She even looks high in the picture (maybe the one weird trick to stay asleep all night is to get high). Whatever her mystique, there’s a lot of search engine terms about her leading here which means one of three things.

1.) Multiple people are looking for her and there’s little/no info about her on the internet (most likely).

2.) One person searches for her every day, hoping to find more about his mysterious dreadlock and shitty dye-job love but keeps clicking on this blog for some reason.

3.) Somebody was looking for more info on her, stumbled on this blog and thought it was funny but not funny enough to bookmark or remember the URL. Now every time he want’s to read my blog he searches for that term again. I’m the “one weird trick” guy.


Whatever the reason, the hits just keep on a coming and will probably only increase in volume since I’m dedicating an entire post to the mystery girl so as a favor to all you lovelorn folks out there wanting to know more I’ve decided to create a backstory for her.


Her name is Heather. She likes all kinds of music except country (old country is okay, though) and followed Phish around for a while. She’s all about Kevin Smith movies and totally loves to play Halo. She dropped out of college but was a philosophy major so she’s totally into having long conversations about Kant or whatever. She belongs to a kickball league. She was in a band for a while but now she just likes to jam on the acoustic guitar. Her hair is red in the picture but she dyes it different colors all the time.



Basically she’s every barista ever.



UPDATE! Ian Rans pointed out that Heather is a stock photo known as “Colorul woman”! You can purchase her stock photo here (she looks so much more high in the bigger, higher resolution pic) and here. Mystery solved!

9 thoughts on “That Girl in the “One Weird Trick to Stay Asleep All Night” Ad

  1. Sorry, Bill. That particular search was me over and over again. I’ve been knitting a blanket that looks like some one blood-let a sheep with overgrown wool. I lost my original pattern and have had to use her photo for reference instead.

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  3. I have checked on the somnipure model about six times (though Im not the everyday guy but you must be exagerrating anyways or the number would be more than thirty).
    I seriously doubt you have the right model. That is one nasty looking girl and something happened to her hair.
    I would gladly send you a pic but not sure it would do me any good. You could certainly benefit from using a bit more brainpower when making silly blog entries. They do have about five different models; why assume its that freakazoid?

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  6. She is beautiful, colorful, pierced, I checked on the links you provided and that is her stock photo alright but nothing about who she is! Does she live near me? Does she have a boyfriend? Has she ever done adult film? We need to know these things!

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  8. I was pleasantly surprised to see the blogs about That Girl in the “One Weird Trick to Stay Asleep All Night” Ad. I too wonder who she may be. But you have the wrong girl. One of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. I have her picture (ad picture) on my desktop. I will try to send it however I am a novice when it comes to PC communication and transmitting pics. If I fail and you have procedures to do it, please contact me. She is worth the view. update: couldn’t get the pic off on here. I will try the email tag above. incidentally, the dark haired, dark eyed, dark complected woman is in a brown dress sitting on a swing. right one?

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