Tag Archives: voting

What Day Is It?

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I feel like there’s something I’m supposed to do today.

Hmmmmm……..

Maybe I’m missing something… I wish my friends would let me know.

What? I can call Chris Kluwe a friend. We hung out in a basement and played video games for charity. We’re like BFFs. No big deal.

If only I had some clue… something to tip me off…

Make sure to read Chris’ post in there. It’s nerd-perfect.

Okay, fine. Yes, it’s voting day. There wasn’t a moment that I didn’t know that today, because this morning, Bill woke me up with “work told us to go vote first and then we will start our workday do you wanna come vote with me huh do ya” like a little kid on Christmas morning. My original plan was to go at 2 in the afternoon because that’s when no one else will be there, but he was just so goddamned excited over this I had to say yes.

So we woke up the boy, and brought him with us to go vote. We all stood in line. Bill and I signed a piece of paper and were given tickets. We went to the next table and were told how to fill out our ballots. We went to the NEXT table and got our ballots. We sat down at a table and filled out our ballots. Then we turned in our ballots and got our stickers.

I did it all for the sticker.

Democracy, bitches.

At just about every table, people asked jokingly if Jared was voting. Honestly, it’s gotta be so dull in there, with all these serious people people being very serious about their serious duties to seriously make the serious choices. Seriously. Jokes (and the Youngs provided a couple) were probably the best “thank you” we could have given them.

When I went to vote, Jared sat next to me and I pointed out various parts of the ballot. I told him not to share, as privacy during voting is very important. We talked afterward why not voting on an amendment counts as a no. We talked about how you could bring a list of who you were going to vote for. And we talked about how important it is to vote.

It sounds like I did voting correctly, right? Like ours is pretty much the example of how you should vote? As a family, teach the next generation as I go? Proud to be participating in the greatness that is our electoral process?

Dead wrong, kids. Once I got back, I hopped on Facebook, and had this conversation with master voter Chris Olsen:

High five!

Kids, if you haven’t voted yet, please, PLEASE promise me you’ll take joy in it. We all get so jaded and so serious and so stuffy over our duty, but remember the fact that we have the right is FUCKING AWESOME! That we don’t live in a dictatorship, that no one is pointing guns at us, forcing us to “vote” for a specific person. The fact that we get to have a say in WHO is leading our country… It’s one of the best parts of being an American! We should be voting with glee!

And we should totally be going out for ice cream after. Who doesn’t like ice cream?

Communists, that’s who. Don’t be a commie. Eat ice cream!

Go Out and Vote Today! Or Not. It’s Just the Primaries, Really.

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Today hundreds of Americans will meander lazily to local schoolhouses, churches and those buildings in public parks that are always locked up and when you see them you’re always like “what are those buildings for? They’re never fucking open!” to vote for which candidate they wish to represent their preferred party in the Senate and House.



Also, some district judges and school board spots or whatever.



I went and voted in the primaries this morning –



Proof!





I’ve never actually voted in a primary before because, well… they’re the primaries. Today, however, I was reminded by the Star Tribune that today was primary day and the stars aligned for me to go out and vote because –

1: I don’t have a pesky job to keep me from the polling booth during voting hours (although voting is a great way to duck out of work. I think employers legally have to let you go out and vote).

2: The nearest polling place is a three minute walk from my front door.

3: The U.S. Rep in my district, Keith Ellison, is being challenged by an out of state, fetus fetishizing islamophobe and while I’ve stated that Boisclair has no chance, the Ellison camp seems concerned enough to throw $5 to some facebook ads so I figured I’d put out equal effort-

This is the first time anybody’s ever been affected by a facebook ad ever.





Will you vote in today’s primaries? To find out if voting in the primaries is right for you, ask yourself these questions –

Do you like voting but hate long lines? Or any lines? Do you enjoy the thought of being the only person in the room who is not an election judge?

Do you enjoy free stickers? I only got one but this is the primaries, baby! They’re flying casual today. You can probably get all the stickers you want! Ask for a dozen.

Are you running for school board? Did you know that you can vote for yourself if you’re on the ballot?

Do you live in Minnesota’s fifth district? Is your Representative who’s actually pretty cool and good at his job being challenged by some insane Randall Terry hand-puppet?


If you answered “yes” to any of these questions then voting in the primaries may just be right for you so head on down to your local polling place!



Or don’t. Whatever.

VOTE.

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Hello. As some of you may know I am running for an office. I have spent many years as an activist fighting for change in things and I think it’s time I took the fight to the political arena at some level. My message is simple.



There are problems.



Some things are not good and I think it’s time that we as a group of people said “that’s not right”. We face problems everyday. Sometimes we only face them occasionally and certain problems we only have to deal with once or twice. I am here to say that bad things are not O.K. and I will work tirelessly to ensure that these things are made less bad, eliminated or changed into good things.



This will not be easy most of the time. Sometimes it will be easy. No matter the degree of difficulty or time required, I will see to it that after I have done what is needed, the things I have worked on will be better.



My opponent thinks everything is alright. That things are “good enough”. Well, I say that he or she is wrong and, in fact, sometimes things are really bad.



Please, vote for me sometime. If elected, I promise to use the power of whatever office I am in to make sure that various problems are either no longer problems or at least smaller problems.



I’m Bill Young and I approve whatever this is.

City Pages Readers Poll Voting Guide

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Every year twin cities alternative news weekly City Pages does a “Best of the Twin Cities” issue. Our local source for information on expensive restaurants and cheap prostitutes asks it’s readers to put in their vote for such categories as “best place for a first date” and “best lake” (how can I choose? THERE’S TEN THOUSAND OF THEM). One of the categories is “best blog” so if you like what you read here and live in the twin cities why don’t you


COME OOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNN




Some of you may wonder how I could be deluded enough to say that this is the best blog in the Twin Cities but do I need to remind you of all the good this blog has done in the last year?


Who got pepper sprayed by riot cops while breaking the story of Occupy Wall Street? This blog. Who raised less than $50,000 in charity last year? This blog. Who hosted peace talks between Israel and Palestine? This blog. Who made you realize that the word “blog” sounds really weird if you read it several times in the same paragraph? This blog. We’ve done so much for you and all we ask is that you take a minute to tell a free newspaper that we’re better than everybody else.


Don’t just vote for us, though. There’s plenty of other categories in their reader poll and if you’re having trouble deciding who to vote for, you can just use my handy-dandy voter recommendation guide!


youngnotions.com recommends –


Best Bus Route
The 17.
It takes me from my place to The Monday Night Comedy Show. That’s where the drinks are.

Best Lake
I seriously don’t know how one lake is better than another so I’m just going to say Lake Harriet because I got married in front of that one.

Best Local Blog
youngnotions.com . Duh.

Best Local Boy Made Good
Charles Lindbergh. He’s our most famous racist.

Best Local Girl Made Good
Mandi Young. She bailed me out of jail at 4AM, people. 4AM!

Best Local Website
http://www.davidicke.com/

Best Neighborhood
North Minneapolis

Best Place For a First Date
North Minneapolis

Best Place to People Watch
North Minneapolis

Best Place to Take Out of Town Guests
North Minneapolis

Best Politician
Michele Bachmann (she has provided me with countless hours of entertainment).

Best State Fair Food
Beer from a backpack sneaked in

Best Street
Asphalt

Best Strip Club
Under the Stone Arch Bridge on Saturday nights (the homeless women will give a lapdance for a sandwich).

Best Tweeter
@ThePatrickBauer

Best Villian
Doctor Light



Jesus Christ I clicked “next” and there’s like 30 more questions. Whatever. Use your best judgement for the other categories or just do what I did and fill out “Baba Booey” for everything. Thanks for voting!