Tag Archives: taco bell

You Can Find Anything On Ebay, Baby.

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A couple weeks ago, YoungNotions announced that we would no longer be doing those shitty text ads advertising ways you can make money at home. We got tired of supporting products we didn’t believe in for a tenth of a Euro. I don’t even know what that translates to in American, but it’s just not worth it.

Instead, we made a Facebook post offering limited sponsor placement for people we like. I would rather our space gets used to promote products and people we believe in. YoungNotions.com is our baby, and if we’re going to sell her, we want it to be to people we like and trust.

You know. Like Misty VanHorn, who is said to have tried selling her children on Facebook to raise funds to bail her boyfriend out of jail.

“The going price was $1,000 for her 10-month-old daughter and … $4,000 for a package deal that included her 2-year-old son.” -firsttoknow.com

And now we know which child she values more.

But Misty is not the only person to attempt selling her children on the internet. A woman in Dallas tried to sell her 4 month old on Criagslist (price not listed), and just so you don’t think it’s only Americans, a German mother tried to sell her 7 month old baby on eBay starting at one Euro. She says she did it as a joke, but eBay shut her down and turned her in just the same.

And she received no bids before she was shut down. That poor baby’s self-esteem must be just awful right now.

Baby selling isn’t just for the internet. One woman tried to sell her baby for $500 at a Taco Bell (would you like that to go?) and one couple at Walmart attempted to sell their 8 month old for just $25.

You really can’t beat the prices at Walmart.

Most of these attempted sales are shitty situations, people that shouldn’t have children, selling them off for drug money. And I say let them. Obviously they shouldn’t have their children if they’re going to use. It’s a win-win.

I did try to find a story where someone sold their child for something other than drugs. I chased down an internet rumor that someone sold their child for Beyonce tickets but it turns out that was just a photoshopped headline passed around the internets for amusement. No one actually tried to sell their baby for tickets to a Beyonce concert.

Nowaygirl

Look, it’s about economics. The going rates for a baby is at least two Eric Clapton balcony seats.

Taco Bell Introduces Morning Diarrhea in Test Markets.

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Look, it’s impossible to talk about Taco Bell without making a diarrhea joke so I might as well get it out of the way in the title.


Seriously, though. Taco Bell has started serving breakfast in some stores out west and hopes to have all locations slinging “FirstMeal” (yes, they’re honestly calling it that) in the next couple of years.


They’re going all out, too. They’re not just taking their regular menu of 100 meat paste / bean / cheese / tortilla items that are completely indistinguishable from each other and just throwing in some sausage and egg –


Oh God is that a breakfast crunchwrap?




They’ll be teaming up with other companies to serve stuff like Cinnabon because fuck it, you’re not eating breakfast at Taco Bell because you care about your health.


My favorite part of the USA Today article has to be where Taco Bell admits that their customers aren’t early risers. From the article – “t’s a reflection of Taco Bell’s core customers — the 18- to-20-something crowd that’s generally not up at the crack of dawn.
‘What we found is, they’re not the customer that shows up at 6 a.m. for breakfast,” Niccol said. “We can get those guys on board, they become the evangelists, and then we can start adding additional hours for people that want breakfast at 6 a.m. or 7 a.m.'” Nothing like admitting your core customer base probably doesn’t work regular hours.


As much as I joke about it, I’m totally the target market for this slop. I’ve shamelessly devoured Taco Bell in the past and I’ll do it again. I love the stuff. Hell, I’d probably eat their breakfast but it’s rare that I find myself that drunk at 9 A.M.