Tag Archives: GLBT

Kraft Foods Supports Homoreosexuality

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So Monday the Oreo facebook page posted this picture –



Have you ever taken a butterknife and shaved the creme off of five Oreos to make a “sextuple-stuff?” …me neither.





Two days later, it’s got 221,000 likes, 67,000 shares, 36,000 comments and a whole slew of news stories about all the buzz it’s generated. Some of the stories focus on how people are talking about a boycott in the facebook comments but nothing as of yet has been organized (I checked One Million Moms, the AFA website, basically all the “stick up their ass about gays” organizations).


First off, talk about a boycott all you want but it ain’t gonna work. Product boycotts against gay rights have been nothing but flops recently. Whether it’s girl scout cookies (cookies love the gays!) or the whole JC Penny Ellen DeGeneres thing, it seems like Anti-gay boycotts are just not effective for these bigots.



Good. I’m glad a boycott will most likely affect nothing and I’m glad Oreo did this. Oreo didn’t have to post anything about pride. They’re a cookie. I don’t expect cookies to take any sort of stance on civil rights (except the famously racist Mrs. Fields). They had no dog in this fight.



Seriously. They had no reason to do this other than to show their support for gay rights. Sure, Target made a bunch of Pride shirts and donated them but really they were covering their own asses after throwing money to anti-gay politicians and getting called out for it.



So thank you, Oreo. You’re not only the best packaged cookie out there and the only tasty thing a vegan can eat but now your fake cookie has become a sugary beacon for the gay rights movement. I think you should go one step farther, Oreo. Make the cookie.



Seriously. I would buy that cookie and not just because it has six layers of creme. I would buy that cookie to tell the world “I support marriage equality and also I’m pretty fat!”.



Granted, I’m no cookie architect. I don’t know if such a cookie is even possible. According to your wikipedia page you once made a Triple Stuff Oreo and released it in certain cities but discontinued it after a month. Was it too unstable? Did people go mad when confronted with that high a creme/cookie ratio? Is the middle cookie in the Triple Double Oreo there simply to maintain structural integrity?



I don’t know if you will do it or even if you can but until that day I’ll just dream of a country where everybody is treated equally regardless of sexuality and Oreos can have six layers of rainbow creme.

DC Announces Gay Superhero. “One Million Moms” Gets Panties in Collective Bunch.

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DC Comics recently announced that one of its established characters is coming out as gay. Many fans are suspecting it will be a huge shakeup and DC is going to have Batman come out of the Batcave while others are banking on the easy money –



Too easy.




Gay characters in the DCU are nothing new. In fact, there’s a whole DC wikia page dedicated to homosexual characters. When I heard that a new character was coming out I just figured either Judd Winick was given a new title to write for or there was a female cop that they forgot to make lesbian. Seriously. If you’re a female cop in Metropolis or Gotham then you’re probably a lesbian.


Between this and Marvel Comics announcing that it’s first openly gay superhero Northstar is getting married, the thoroughly misnamed One Million Moms (there’s certainly less than a million of them) has started a boycott of DC and Marvel comic books.


You may remember OMM from when they made a big stink about Ellen DeGeneres being the new spokesperson for JC Penny because having a gay person try to sell you clothes on TV corrupts children or whatever.



If I remember right they were super successful in the campaign, JC Penny went out of business and Ellen was burned at the stake for laying with a woman as one lays with a man. They’re really a force to be reckoned and I’m sure the comic book industry will crumble under the pressure in a matter of days.



I mean, their demands are reasonable. They just want the entertainment industry as a whole to not acknowledge that homosexuality exists for the sake of their children. From their “issues” page on their website, “Children desire to be just like superheroes. Children mimic superhero actions and even dress up in costumes to resemble these characters as much as possible. Can you imagine little boys saying, ‘I want a boyfriend or husband like X-Men?'”



If your kid is saying that than he was gay long before he read any X-Men.


p.s. My prediction for the DC character that comes out of the closet: Woozy Winks

“Cling tightly to my butt cheeks, Woozy!” “I’m clingin’, Plas! I’m clingin’!

The Two O’Reillys.

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Bill O’Reilly will be the first to tell you that he’s not a Republican, he’s an Independent. While many of his views tend to be conservative the only school of thought he subscribes to is his own. His independent views sometimes even put him at odds with his employers at Fox News and his fanbase like when he actually supports gay rights –

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUuRF_Tsmj8?rel=0&w=560&h=315]


Good for him! I don’t agree with most of what this guy says but here he is standing his ground, firm in the belief that homosexuals are people and shouldn’t be discriminated against because of their sexuality.


Oh, by the way a day later he stood up for his beliefs that homosexuals should totally be discriminated against because of their sexuality. Here he is calling the recent prop 8 ruling “Judicial Activism” (there’s video on the link. For some reason I can’t get the stupid mediaite player to embed on posts. Damn you HTML!).


Bill O’Reilly is so independent that his views are even independent from his own views. Seriously.


I understand that the right to work and the right to marry are two different things but you don’t get to pick and choose civil rights ala carte. Homosexuals are either second class citizens or they aren’t.


I actually feel kind of dirty using meme generator to make a joke. It's like the internet equivalent to prop comedy.




Is somebody going to call him out on this? This was like back to back. There has to be some rational explanation for this behavior. This is what I’ve come up with so far –


* Back when he was just a timid reporter for Inside Edition, O’Reilly developed a serum to separate his good side from his darker impulses. Relishing in the freedom from morality, he began to take the serum more and more. O’Reilly was soon able to transform into his darker self without the serum and his new, bold self got a job with Fox News. After years of abandon, his good side is starting to finally re-emerge.

* He’s a robot and his programmers are feeding him logical fallacies to see if his head will explode.

* He’s fucking with us.


Maybe this is just the start of a weird erosion in his sanity. Tomorrow he’ll say only gays can get married and come friday he’ll call for rounding them up and exterminating them. Monday he comes out of the closet… wearing nothing but flip flops.

Guess Who Just Sold Me Ten Boxes of Girl Scout Cookies?

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This girl.


[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y514LSe8FWk?rel=0&w=420&h=315]


In this video a young girl scout makes a plea to boycott Girl Scout Cookies to send a message to GSUSA that it’s not okay to allow transgender girls into girl scout troops. Specifically citing Colorado Girl Scouts admitting Bobby Montoya, a 7 year old transgender girl. She calls GSUSA “dishonest” for not telling people they’re not a bunch of bigots and questions the safety of girls sharing tents on camping trips with trans girls. Like they’re going to get raped or something.


Yeah. Total sexual predator. No doubt.




The sign behind her in the video has the url for honestgirlscouts.com, an organization dedicated to eliminating girl scouts’ acceptance of the gays and sexual education. They’re particularly pissed that GSUSA has ties with Planned Parenthood because over 90% of what they do is abortions (you guys never click the links anyway so I’ll just tell you it’s 3%).


After watching this video (twice! Ugh.) I really wanted to lay into this girl and call her all sorts of names and all sorts of swear words but when it comes down to it, she’s just a kid standing up for her beliefs. What she believes is wrong, misinformed and kind of hateful but it’s her right to ask for a boycott. She even goes as far as to suggest you can donate money directly to the GSUSA instead of buying cookies to send a message so I’m not going to tear her a new one. I’m just going to do what I do best. Eat the shit out of some Girl Scout Cookies.


I am going to eat so many fucking cookies. Anytime I see some girl scouts outside of a grocery store (the one thing I miss about office life is being able to buy Girl Scout Cookies from coworkers) I will buy as many cookies as my budget will allow. My favorite are the Peanut Butter Patties (formerly known as Tagalongs).

Found this image from another wordpress blog that just drools over girl scout cookies. Click the image.




Cookie season is fast approaching and I am on the fucking prowl. Did you know Girl Scouts even have an online cookie locator so you can find the cookies closest to you? God bless the internet.


In the video the girl says that Girl Scout Cookies grossed over $110 mil. in 2010. I sincerely hope this year blows that figure out of the water. This is going to be the tastiest counter-protest ever.


One day Jena will come home to find me in a daze, surrounded by empty boxes of Girl Scout Cookies and covered in crumbs. When she asks “What the hell is going on here?” I will weakly burp out “Equality!” before slipping into a diabetic coma.


Leave a comment and tell me your favorite girl scout cookie. Cookie party!




UPDATE

Looks like the youtube vid went private but I found one that’s still up on a NY Daily News article. Click the link to watch it because it won’t let me embed it for some reason (I’m dumb at HTML is probably the reason). Enjoy!

Do Ask Do Tell

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As of today, the military policy banning openly gay men and women from serving in the US Armed Forces known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is officially repealed.  Congratulations to all the homosexuals who can now legally die for a country that won’t let them marry!

While I’m glad that America has actually taken a step forward in equal rights, there are still plenty of people out there who think DADT should not have been repealed. An article on addicinginfo.org lists some of the bogus reasons people think DADT should still be in effect and why those are wrong. Here’s some other bogus reasons the article left out.

 

Myth:  Homosexual soldiers will be too busy doing each other in the butt on the battlefield to fight, costing us battles and lives.

Fact:  Homosexuals, much like heterosexuals, do not engage in sexual intercourse in life-or-death combat situations.

 

Myth:  Homosexual soldiers will refuse to wear Military issue camouflage gear due to their heightened fashion sensibilities.  They will instead wear vibrant and flamboyant colors, giving away their positions and jeopardizing their lives.

Fact:  While it’s true that many homosexuals have heightened fashion sensibilities, they are still human beings so this does not override their survival instinct.  They are serving in the military and will wear what their commanding officers told them.

 

Myth:  Homosexuals may not be able to shoot an enemy because they are physically attracted to them.

Fact:  Homosexual soldiers have as much discipline and mild xenophobia as a heterosexual soldier.

 

Myth:  If homosexuals take over the military, they will have the firepower to forcer America to become an all gay nation.

Fact:  The gay takeover of America will be a completely passive, nonviolent process that will begin by teaching children that it’s okay to be gay.  It will be so slow and subtle that you won’t know it’s happening until it’s too late.  No military force will be necessary.

 

Hope that clears things up for you!