50 Shades Fans Frustrated, But Not Sexually

It was announced back in January that there would be a movie made based off the ridiculously popular erotic book “50 Shades of Grey.”

I have to let you know before diving into this that I have not read it. but I have a pretty good idea what the book is about from everyone everywhere. Friends of mine that were excited by it, friends that were bored by it. Some that used it as a checklist of things to try later.

If you have no clue what I’m talking about, let me copy and paste from wikipedia:

Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic romance novel by British author E. L. James. It is the first instalment in the Fifty Shades trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM).

 

The pic will take you to the author's dungeo- I mean, website. Just his website.

The pic will take you to the author’s dungeo- I mean, website. Just his website.

The movie has been announced, but precious little has been said about what’s going on with it. All the entertainment publications are speculating on who’s going to get cast for which role. The producers are keeping their lips tighter than a virgin on her wedding night.

Honey, if you made it this far, I totally get to make that joke. Don’t feign shock and horror. You know you want it. Take it. Explore your comedy kinks.

It’s good for you.

A recent study shows that people who practiced BDSM were more likely to be psychologically healthier than “vanilla” people, or people who didn’t tie each other down and whip each other with  wet noodles.

How else do you know when the spaghetti’s done?

There is a lot of speculation as to why this is. The most popular seems to be that people who are honest about their fantasies are less likely to lie to themselves and others about other things going on in their lives. That doesn’t mean all vanilla people are liars. But it’s much more likely that a person will lie and say they don’t want to have hot wax dripped all over them to avoid judgement than a person will lie to say that they do and avoid… being called a wimp, maybe?

Regardless of the whys, it seems E L James getting people talking about BDSM might in fact be helping us to a healthier society.

Unlike those movie producers. They’re purposefully keeping us in the dark. Blindfolded, even. Not letting us know where they’re going to hit us next. I’m sure everyone working on that movie is working under a gag order. Their hands are tied. The tension over this is just building over time, just keeping us waiting in total anticipation, until the moment comes for that ultimate release.

Of movie details.

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