Protests have erupted in Istanbul (not Constantinople) over… something.
Honestly, I know absolutely nothing about the protests in Turkey. I don’t know why it’s happening, if there’s an oppressive regime in power or even where Turkey is on a map. I heard on the radio that this could be another “Arab Spring” so it’s in the Middle East, right?
Eh… that’s kind of Middle East. It’s kind of Eastern Europe, too. Also there’s only like a mile of water separating it from Western Europe.
Well, it’s kind of in the middle of everything but I’ll call it the Middle East because they’re all probably brown and Muslim anyway.
Okay, next: Are Turkeys from Turkey? Is that why they’re called Turkeys?
SEE? I’M NOT THE FIRST TO ASK THIS.
Okay. I googled it. They’re from Mexico. Let’s move on.
Why are they protesting? Well, according to CNN, this all started when Turkey’s government was going to demolish a park to make a shopping mall.
… Must be one hell of a park.
I guess the park thing must’ve been the straw that broke the camel’s back (not racist! I would totally use that term in describing something that went on in someplace else than the middle east!) and now rioters are clashing with police. Police have been accused of using excessive force when dispersing the protesters with tear gas, water cannons and magic carpets (okay that one was pretty racist).
Turkey’s Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan was democratically elected but has been accused by detractors of wildly abusing his powers and not just to demolish apparently incredibly beloved parks.
What will come of these protests? Nobody is sure and since it’s on the other side of the world I’m sure Americans will forget all about this in a few days.
Unless they’re sitting on some oil we want then we are ON THAT SHIT.