Okay, guys. I know that Jason Collins came out of the closet and that’s groundbreaking and a huge deal but we need to talk about something important. Snack cakes.
It seems as if Hostess will be hitting the shelves again pretty soon. I found out from this image that’s been floating around facebook the last couple of days –
from the facebook post: “Twinkies are back! (At least they will be by July.) Two companies have purchased the Hostess assets and will reopen four plants and hire 1,500 workers – and all of this will be done union free!! LIKE if you will buy a union free Twinkie to celebrate!”
This little gem came from the facebook group ForAmerica, the offical page of foramerica.org. foramerica.org is a nonprofit started by conservative pundit L. Brent Bozell III to serve the dual purpose of trying to repeal Obamacare via the use of memes –
*the viewpoints of foramerica.org do not necessarily reflect those of Tardar Sauce, aka Grumpy Cat.
and sucking the GOP’s dick through creepy fanfic –
This could totally be the beginning of a Republican porno. “Trickle Down Her Back”
Also their website has a freedom meter. I don’t even know what that’s about –
maybe it’s like a scientology e-meter. You grab onto a couple of metal rods and somebody asks you a bunch of questions about eagles and fireworks or something.
Whatever. I’m not going to try to explain to them why unions didn’t cause the collapse of Hostess to these douchebags. Plenty of people have tried on the comment thread of the pic and failed. I will, however, say this. I don’t care that Hostess is coming back.
Turns out America didn’t collapse with the absence of Hostess. Sure, Batman had to work a little harder to get away from mummies but other than that I think we did alright as a country in the last few months –
Batman’s been slipping ever since he found out he can bribe most villains with sweets.
So sorry, ForAmerica. I think I’ll pass on the union free twinkies. I’m trying to cut back on sweets and bullshit union demonizing. Besides. If I really want some packed with chemicals and lard sponge cake Little Debbie has been my dealer since Hostess closed anyway.
OK so they’re not union either but all employees are shareholders and Swiss Cake Rolls are better than Ho Hos anyway.