About two months ago I wrote a blog about the fucked up search engine terms that eventually lead to this blog and since then, they haven’t magically become any less fucked up. Here’s some of the weirdest/funniest/most disturbing of just the last 30 days alone

KIDS FUCK:  

Late July I wrote a blog about the controversy surrounding a restaurant that banned all children under 6. Because I’m such a graceful writer I put “Hey, Kids! Fuck You!” as the title. Since then this site has seen at least three vaguely child molestey search engine terms a day. I’m thinking of changing the header of the site to say “youngnotions.com: Disappointing pedophiles since 2011”. The worst part is that writing about it now is probably going to get more search engine hits from those sickos.

חוות נמלים:  

According to google translate it’s Hebrew for “Ant Farm”.  I honestly have no clue.

PATRICK BAUER PORN:  

My friend Patrick Bauer is a stand up comedian, sketch writer and actor.  To my knowledge he isn’t a porn actor but simply mentioning his name on none of my blogs caused two search engine hits for “Patrick Bauer Porn” and “Patrick Bauer Porno”.   The logical explanation is that there’s a porn actor out there that has the same name but I think that the real (re: the one that I know) Patrick Bauer has a secret porn life that he’s hiding from his loved ones.  I refuse to find out the answer.
AN EVIL SEA CREATURE FOR KIDS SHARK:  

Okay.  I get how that term brought up this blog due to my review of Shark Night 3D(check it out!) but why is somebody looking for an evil sea creature for kids shark?  Is this going to be a birthday present for some little evil mastermind in training?

FORESKIN DONUT:  

That’s it.  This is going to be a knitting blog from now on.  We’re only going to talk about knitting.   Maybe crocheting if I’m feeling crazy.

Sick bastards.