I heard you were coming back but I didn’t believe it.  How long has it been since I last saw you?  Five years?  That’s a long time for you to be away to have you just swoop in like nothing happened and it’ll be just like before.  You’ve got a lot of nerve starting again like nothing happened.  I just don’t know if I’m ready for this.  I don’t know if I’m ready for a new season of Arrested Development.

A lot has changed since you were gone and don’t say you weren’t gone.  Sit Down, Shut Up doesn’t count and you know it!  So much has changed in five years and not just me.  Five years is a long time.  How can you even claim to just pick up where you left off?  Michael Cera and Alia Shawkat must look so different… okay they both still look like they’re 16 but that’s beside the point.  It’s not that I didn’t love you.  I did and still do.  It’s just that Mitch Hurwitz even said that he had told the story that he wanted to tell and this seems like a weird moneygrab on your part.

Besides, I’ve moved on.  I have a new favorite show.  His name is Louie.  You’d like him.  He’s on basic cable.  Cable’s really improved since you’ve been around.

… Who am I kidding?  I can’t stay mad at you.  Of course I’ll watch the new episodes and movie.  Just don’t expect me to buy the DVDs.