Tag Archives: science

And Just What Was He Expecting?

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Gentlemen, listen up. This could save your life. No shit.

Here’s the full story: A guy by the handle of CappnPoopdeck posts a “rage comic” (note- I’m old an un-hip. I just don’t get rage comics) to Reddit. The comic, shown below, poorly drawn as all rage comics are (I think this is my issue with them. How lazy. Put a little pride into your art. Spend some time on it. Make it worth it. It just makes me so angry!!!) ANYWAY, the comic shows a guy finding a pregnancy test, pissing on it, and getting a positive result, to which he declares that he is pregnant.

Is he the father or the mother?

Ha ha. Funny funny. Everyone knows that dudes can’t get pregnant. That test is bogus, he’s not really pregnant, and what a good laugh.

Only, Reddit’s not laughing.

The post starts getting comments about how how a man getting a positive result on a pregnancy test could indicate that he has testicular cancer. What a pregnancy test measures is “human chorionic gonadotrophin” or “hCG.” This is a hormone given off by trophoblast cells that enable the embryo to attach itself to the uterus. Apparently, the cells that start testicular, uterine, and some forms of ovarian cancer are almost indistinguishable from trophoblast cells. This causes the hCG hormone to be produced, and therefore readable on a pregnancy test.

**We at YoungNotions would like to remind the reader that we are only doctors in the fake way people call themselves doctors and not in anyway capable of making diagnosiseses or giving out any kind of medical advice whatsoever. We would also like to state that a negative reading does not mean you don’t have cancer. If you are in doubt as to your medical condition, PLEASE go see a doctor. We like having readers.**

Science is fucking fascinating, kids.

Anyway, CappnPoopdeck had created the comic about his friend. He told his friend to get checked out, and the doctor discovered early testicular cancer that they were able to take care of the same day. CappnPoopdeck’s follow up comic is posted below.

Reddit saves lives.

On a completely unrelated note, I just bought stock in EPT.

Bill Nye the Badass Guy

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Bill Nye is back in the public eye! The guy partially responsible for turning Millenials into a generation of nerds is now kicking creationist ass in the name of reason.


The scientist turned actor/comedian/kids’ show host is best known for his work in the mid ’90s on his show “Bill Nye the Science Guy” where he used his super science powers to answer the Insane Clown Posse’s questions years before they would even ask and on a level that even they can understand –



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnidJJFSaco&w=420&h=315]



These days though you can see him on youtube explaining why bible stories shouldn’t be taught in science classrooms –



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHbYJfwFgOU&w=560&h=315]



That video has gone viral now with over 4 million hits and stories from a bunch of major news outlets. The video has also drawn the ire of The Creation Museum, a place in Kentucky where you can see exhibits of man walking next to dinosaurs and half constructed “Noah’s Ark”.



I couldn’t be happier. The same guy who used Suicidal Tendencies song parodies to teach me about mammals is now arguing with the people who’s ideas drive me insane!



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiYeMntc9jE&w=420&h=315]



If Bill Nye ran for president I would totally vote for him. He should run in 2016. All he needs is the perfect running mate…



Boom.





Ladies and gentlemen, I think I just created the perfect campaign ticket.



NYE/DEGRASSE TYSON 2016. EVERYBODY GOES TO SPACE



I’m awful at photoshop but if anybody wants to make up a Nye/Degrasse Tyson campaign poster I’d gladly put it up here. Possible alternative campaign slogans –

*Less fighting. More robot fighting.

*A Telescope in every observatory.

*Because seriously let’s get a person on Mars.

*The Han and Lando of science!



I’d love to see that happen but I doubt it ever will. I’m just not sure America’s ready for a black vice president.

The God Particle

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I’m not a scientist. I know this may come to a surprise to a lot of you since I wear a lab coat everywhere and have a bunch of beakers filled with different colored bubbling liquids in my living room but it’s all just for show. I am actually not a scientist.


Most people aren’t scientists, when you think about it. Ask yourself, how many scientists do you know? Maybe one, right? Possibly two. It’s okay. Most of us just aren’t scientists. The problem with most of us not being scientists is that when we read a news article about the Higgs Boson the media makes it sound like they’re about to fucking force God out of his spider hole or some shit.


Photo of God courtesy of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.




Why do they keep calling it “The God Particle”? None of the researchers at CERN actually believe that God is made up of Higgs Bosons (I’m assuming. Please leave a comment if you’re a CERN employee and I’m way off base). Discovery of the particle won’t prove or disprove the existence of God. Once they find the Higgs Boson, God won’t pop out and say “Aaaahhh! You got me! I almost totally had you tricked on how I created the universe!”. The only purpose this title serves is to let people jump to conclusions on something they have little to no knowledge about. The more you let people believe the Higgs Boson is God poop or whatever, the wilder the fantasy of the reader. Speaking of which, here’s how the headline appeared on foxnews.com


and Fox News is usually so level headed.




That headline serves no other purpose than to lead you to believe a bunch of scientists are chasing God through the woods.


The worst part about this is that when this particle is finally discovered God will still be invisible and you, the non scientist, will no longer give a shit about this important discovery. You may possibly even lose faith and trust in science since it didn’t deliver on what the media promised you, God on a platter. If those stupid scientists couldn’t gift wrap God for you like they totally said they could why should you believe any of that other bullshit they say about stuff like global warming and evolution and dinosaurs?


Listen, fellow non scientists. All I ask of you is to have a little faith in science. Science works in mysterious ways and it may not seem like it right now, but science has a plan. Just believe. In the name of the proton, the neutron and the orbiting electron.