Tag Archives: rush limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh, Fart Two: Fact Checker Job Application

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So after yesterday’s whole Rush Limbaugh Batman thing I decided to check out his website this morning to see if he made a response to people pointing out his conspiracy theory built around an obvious factual error. Turns out he did.



In an incredibly lengthy post entitled World on Fire Over Batman and El Rushbo. He states in the first couple (of like a thousand) paragraphs that ” I made some comments about it. Doesn’t matter what. I have had more reaction to that than anything, including the Fluke thing.” He then goes on to state that he never said that Bane was created to dis Romney, that he made no conspiracy theory, this is the Democrat’s fault and about 5000 other words I didn’t bother to read.



After reading this I felt the same way that he did. Not that he never said that stuff and it’s all the left’s fault, but that people are blowing it way out of proportion. I decided to turn yesterday’s facetious offer to become his fact checker into a real one. Below is the email I sent him.


Bill Young Bill@youngnotions.com
10:20 AM (0 minutes ago)

to ElRushbo
Hi. I saw the whole media assault on you after your on air bit about the new Batman movie and read your response on your website and I have to say, I agree with you. Everybody blew this whole thing way out of proportion but when you’re in the public eye and say controversial things you’re going to be under more scrutiny than then general public. People are going to go over everything you say with a fine toothed comb looking for a reason to attack you.

That being said, I think you did misspeak. Although you say otherwise in your online response, I believe you honestly thought the Bane character was created for that movie as a jab at Romney. It’s a small error but it still is an error. I would like to help with that.

I want to offer my services to you as a fact checker. What I would like you to do is just email me a brief summary of the things you’re going to talk about on your show each day. I’ll make sure that there are no glaring factual errors on there that liberals can use to dogpile on you and send the summary back to you with any needed notes. I won’t attempt to edit or influence any content based on my personal beliefs, only check for statements that are easily proved false.

Now I should mention I do not believe that this will happen often but you are only human. Everybody makes a slip up like the “Bane” comment every now and again, you just get more criticism for it than most.

I should also mention that I am a liberal. I’m not a fan of your show and I don’t agree with many of the things you say but I want to do this for you and do it well because like you said, people are focusing on this little flub and it’s taking attention away from issues that matter. I would rather the left spend time arguing your actual views than a little slip up.

I expect to be compensated for this work (we are all capitalists here), should you choose to accept. I’ll allow you to make an offer for what you deem to be fair pay for this sort of thing and we’ll go from there. Please let me know if you’d like anything from me like a full resume or references. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Bill Young




In retrospect should have put something in about how hiring a liberal could be seen as “reaching across the aisle” and make him seem less biased or how if I screw up in my job he can just blame liberals for these slip ups (not that he doesn’t already). Whatever. I doubt he’ll even read this, much less take me up on my offer but a boy can dream.



Just a pic of Rush because posts with pics get more hits. Oh also this is his mugshot. From when he was arrested.

Let’s Talk About Farts and Rush Limbaugh Because They’re Pretty Much the Same Thing

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Okay, I promised you people a fart joke so let’s get that out of the way right now. True story, one time I farted into my smartphone when the voice texting was turned on to see what it would type and it actually typed “poop poop poop poop”. No lie. Thus concludes the hi-brow portion of today’s post.

Now, conservative radio host and former youngnotions advertising partner Rush Limbaugh recently puked this conspiracy theory into a microphone. He basically suggested that the villain Bane in the new Dark Knight Rises movie is a deliberate slam at Romney –


I will BREAK your company’s overhead expenses by shipping jobs to third world countries!





So what he’s saying is that the Obama campaign either asked, paid or forced Christopher Nolan to make the bad guy in the movie’s name sound like a company that the guy he’s running against used to work for. Fart.



I’m seriously offended by this accusation. Not as an Obama supporter, not as a rational, sane individual. I’m offended as a nerd.



Seriously. Bane’s been around for nearly 20 years! I had the comic where he broke Batman’s back when I was a kid!



Between Batman, Superman and Wolverine, the early ’90s was not kind to superheroes.





It’s not just the comic books, either. Bane has appeared in pretty much every non-comic incarnation of Batman since he first came around. You can’t avoid the guy –



cartoon Bane!





Cartoon S&M Bane!





Uh… we don’t talk about Schumacher Batman.





He’s everywhere!





Even if Rush didn’t know about a 19 year villain (and sometimes good guy) of one of the world’s most popular comics, three animated shows and a shitty movie, doesn’t he have people fact check for him? I feel like he’d have a person that he’d give his daily sheet of talking points or whatever to somebody and say “Oh hey can you just make sure none of these things sound incredibly stupid?” If he does already, he should fire that person. If not, I’ll happily take that job.



Seriously. I will fact check for Rush Limbaugh. This isn’t even a ploy to make him look stupid. I will totally fact check for Rush Limbaugh and do the best job I can because if he’s at least not sounding stupid we can spend more time focusing on what a lying asshole he is.



I’m going to see if there’s a jobs section on his website or something.

The Six Fakest Cracked Article Names I Could Come up With

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Going through the “downloads” folder of the images on my computer and realizing I had over a dozen pictures of republican presidential candidates stored up made me realize that I may be focusing a bit too much on the political side of things lately. Sure, it’s easy and it gets eyeballs on the website but I’m really not a political comedian and this is supposed to be a comedy blog. Let’s get back to the business of writing straight up comedy.


Now while writing for this blog is certainly fun for me there’s no money in it. I know there’s usually an ad at the bottom but I don’t see a penny from those (it all goes to wordpress) and my talks with Rush Limbaugh’s people about sponsoring his line of iced tea on the site are going nowhere.


Yes. It's a real thing. Yes, it's called "Two if by Tea" and yes that's Rush dressed as Paul Revere.




There is money to be had for writing comedy on the internet though. I’m a big fan of cracked.com


I really only put a pic of the logo on here so it'll show up on the link when I post this on facebook.




and while Cracked has it’s own staff and columnists, a lot of their content is generated by user submissions. Read enough and you’ll see that the submissions that get picked all follow a pretty specific pattern. That pattern is

1) Numbered lists.
2) Something do do with either science or history.
3) Make it sound cool, sexy or badass.


With that in mind, here’s the titles of some of the Cracked articles I’m working on to submit at the moment.


The 5 Most Unusually Sexual Zeppelin Disasters in History
Oh, the eroticism!

7 Scientific Discoveries That Were Predicted by Hanna-Barbera Cartoons
Jabberjaw was a modern day Nostrodamus.

The 6 Most Badass Toddlers in History
These tiny tykes could kick the shit out of you and still have time for an afternoon nap.

4 Ways Science Has Proven That Bears are Smarter Than Most People
Can YOU catch a fish with your teeth?

5 Famous Video Game Characters Based on U.S. Presidents
That’s actually Teddy Roosevelt under Master Chief’s Helmet.

The 7 Most Sexy Science Badass History Lists
Badass science and sexy history!


Don’t get me wrong. I read Cracked all the time and I’d write for them in a heartbeat. I just think it’s fun to come up with fake Cracked article titles. In fact, leave a comment with your best fake Cracked article headline and I will pick one winner and make a full article about your headline to post in the blog (Disclaimer: I get to change the number if it’s a fact based headline or if you’re a dick and use some number like 5,000)!

Five More Lies Republicans Tell About Women’s Bodies

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HuP (short for HuffPo, short for Huffington Post) Huffingtonposted an article yesterday entitled “9 Lies Republicans Tell About Women’s Bodies”. The article shows 9 myths that have sprung up rather recently in the GOP’s war on vaginas. While the list certainly brings to light the level of misinformation conservatives are willing to use to make a point, the list is far from complete. Here’s some more misleading statements, half-truths and outright lies the Republicans have said about women in the last couple of months.


1. “Chinese girls have sideways vaginas.” – Rick Santorum on Face the Nation.

This myth has been around for quite some time but the World Health Organization has stated that the vaginas of Chinese women are just like everybody else’s.


2. “Boys go to Mars to get more candy bars. Girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider.” – Rush Limbaugh on The Rush Limbaugh Show.

To date, the Mars Rover has yet to find a single candy bar on the planet’s surface. As for Jupiter, the atmosphere of the gas giant is mainly comprised of hydrogen and helium. Breathing these gases can cause oxygen starvation to the brain so while a girl could get more stupider on Jupiter, not one female has ever visited the planet.


3. “We don’t need a condom, baby. Everybody knows you can’t get pregnant if you do it in a hot tub.” – Herman Cain in the hot tub at La Quinta Inn. Newark, NJ.

According to the internet you can totally get pregnant in a hot tub. Duh.


4. “That weird girl Ethel in Ms. Miller’s kindergarten class has cooties.” – Mitt Romney televised campaign ad.

While it’s kind of weird that her parents gave her an old lady name, there’s no such thing as cooties. Ethyl has lice.


5. “Almost 20% of fetuses survive abortion, growing up with a single goal in life. Revenge.” – Michele Bachmann, speaking to a bunch of terrified girl scouts around a camp fire moments before Marcus jumps out of the bushes in a giant fetus costume.

While there have been some cases of fetuses surviving late term abortions, there have been no recorded instances of revenge quests.



For more information on Republican views on women’s health, consult any 100 year old medical textbook.

The pic from the original huffpo article. Obviously a shop because the three of them talking at the same time would cause aneurysms in anybody listening.



P.S. Oh hey there’s only two days left to vote for the City Pages reader’s poll. You can vote for “best local blog”. I’m not saying that I think this blog is the best but you should vote for me because I’m incredibly insecure and if you don’t vote for me I’m going to STICK MY FINGER IN MY THROAT UNTIL I THROW UP BECAUSE I’M A FATTY FATASS. Thanks!

Youngnotions.com Will Drop Sponsorship of Rush Limbaugh Immediately.

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Today I would like to announce that youngnotions.com will be ending it’s 25 year relationship with the Rush Limbaugh show in light of his recent comments about activist Sandra Fluke.


While advertising on Rush Limbaugh’s program has certainly brought over a lot of the core conservative demographic that we aim at, Rush’s statements and subsequent bullshit non apology have crossed a line of decency for us.


While readers of the blog have called on us to pull advertising many times in the past, like when he said Michael J. Fox was faking his Parkinson’s symptoms in a commercial for stem cell research. We decided to keep giving him money.


People sent petitions with hundreds of signatures to the offices of youngnotions.com when he called American soldiers who criticized the Iraq war “phony soldiers” but we decided to keep advertising with him.


When Rush played the “parody” song “Barack the Magic Negro” and continued to play it and even defend it when called out on it’s offensiveness, we stayed by his side.


When Rush admitted to being addicted to painkillers and was arrested for doctor shopping to get painkillers but then served no jail time because he paid $30,000 which is funny because on his radio show he said drug offenders should be convicted and sent up the river so now he’s proven that he’s a liar and a hipocrite, we kept advertising with him.


His comments about Sandra Fluke, however, are frankly too much. While we were happy in our relationship with a lying, hipocritical, racist, anti soldier anti disability talk show host we cannot ethically pay advertising money to a lying, hypocritical, racist, anti-soldier, anti disability drug addict talk show host who is also misogynist.


We hope conservative fans of youngnotions.com understands our position and will continue to support us. We’ll still bring you all the tradition and family values that you enjoy five days a week and you’ll be glad to know that all revenue that was directed towards ads on Rush Limbaugh’s program will be shifted to the construction of Glenn Beck’s “Spaceship to Heaven”.

this is actually his mugshot. No lie.