HuP (short for HuffPo, short for Huffington Post) Huffingtonposted an article yesterday entitled “9 Lies Republicans Tell About Women’s Bodies”. The article shows 9 myths that have sprung up rather recently in the GOP’s war on vaginas. While the list certainly brings to light the level of misinformation conservatives are willing to use to make a point, the list is far from complete. Here’s some more misleading statements, half-truths and outright lies the Republicans have said about women in the last couple of months.
1. “Chinese girls have sideways vaginas.” – Rick Santorum on Face the Nation.
This myth has been around for quite some time but the World Health Organization has stated that the vaginas of Chinese women are just like everybody else’s.
2. “Boys go to Mars to get more candy bars. Girls go to Jupiter to get more stupider.” – Rush Limbaugh on The Rush Limbaugh Show.
To date, the Mars Rover has yet to find a single candy bar on the planet’s surface. As for Jupiter, the atmosphere of the gas giant is mainly comprised of hydrogen and helium. Breathing these gases can cause oxygen starvation to the brain so while a girl could get more stupider on Jupiter, not one female has ever visited the planet.
3. “We don’t need a condom, baby. Everybody knows you can’t get pregnant if you do it in a hot tub.” – Herman Cain in the hot tub at La Quinta Inn. Newark, NJ.
According to the internet you can totally get pregnant in a hot tub. Duh.
4. “That weird girl Ethel in Ms. Miller’s kindergarten class has cooties.” – Mitt Romney televised campaign ad.
While it’s kind of weird that her parents gave her an old lady name, there’s no such thing as cooties. Ethyl has lice.
5. “Almost 20% of fetuses survive abortion, growing up with a single goal in life. Revenge.” – Michele Bachmann, speaking to a bunch of terrified girl scouts around a camp fire moments before Marcus jumps out of the bushes in a giant fetus costume.
While there have been some cases of fetuses surviving late term abortions, there have been no recorded instances of revenge quests.
For more information on Republican views on women’s health, consult any 100 year old medical textbook.
The pic from the original huffpo article. Obviously a shop because the three of them talking at the same time would cause aneurysms in anybody listening.
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