This is what’s wrong with the government. This is what all those stinky OWS hippies are complaining about. Congress is bought. The government will never act in the people’s interest as long as corporate lobbyists can get legislators to do whatever they want by stuffing their pockets with cash. It doesn’t matter who you elect because as long as corporations can lobby, government will act in act in the interest of lobbies.
Don’t believe me? This week members of congress were able to say with a flawless fucking poker face that Pizza is a goddamn vegetable.
Here’s what’s happening. The Obama administration submitted a proposal to make school lunches healthier because all the kids are fatties. The measure included putting more veggies in school lunch rotation and limiting things like frozen pizza and french fries (two things you could get every day when I was in high school).
From the article, “The final version of a spending bill released late Monday would unravel school lunch standards the Agriculture Department proposed earlier this year, which included limiting the use of potatoes on the lunch line and delaying limits on sodium and delaying a requirement to boost whole grains.
The bill also would allow tomato paste on pizzas to be counted as a vegetable, as it is now. USDA had wanted to prevent that.
Food companies that produce frozen pizzas for schools, the salt industry and potato growers requested the changes, and some conservatives in Congress say the federal government shouldn’t be telling children what to eat.”
Okay, first off, tomato paste is not a vegetable. I know this because tomatoes are a goddamn fruit. Adding sugar, salt, cheese, modified food starch and silicon dioxide to a fruit does not make it a vegetable.
This goes beyond word manipulation. This is outright lying. The kind of lying that puts cigarette ads from the 1920s to shame.
Only smoke what your doctor recommends.
Face it. Congress would shove the fat directly in your kids’ arteries if the price was right.
Since we’re throwing nutritional common sense out the window let’s just go nuts. Here’s some suggestions for the new healthy lunch proposal.
* Ice cream is a good source of calcium.
* Nachos are a vegetable (there’s tomatos in the salsa!)
* Oreos contain several B vitamins and folic acid. This qualifies them as a multivitamin.
* Fuck it. Cheese is a vegetable.
If you would like to make sure these changes don’t go through, please write to your congressperson and make sure to include a check for at least $50,000.
