Too Sexy for this Job

I don’t watch a lot of movies. It’s not that I have anything against them… it’s just that I don’t make time for them. In fact, I know so little about movies that some friends and I made a podcast where I’m forced to sit down and watch movies.

Frankly, putting me in the spotlight is the only way to get me to make time for something.

I’ve been told that I should see Erin Brockovich. No one ever tells me that I should see it because of the amazing cinematography or incredibly developed plot line. Most people tell me I should see it because I resemble the title character… that I’m an attractive, no-nonsense kind of woman that revels in her own sense of style and sexuality, who used to be an unwed mother.

i really like that top.

i really like that top.

Or, you know, trashy whore.

No, you guys. It’s cool. I know I’m a trashy whore. Fine- slut, if you prefer. I don’t get paid. But the point is, I’m somewhat attractive, comfortable in my sexuality, and sometimes I wear “slutty clothes.”

You know the kind I’m talking about… The shorts that go a little higher than normal. Exposed bellies. Peaking out thongs. A little too much cleavage.

Now, a large part of that is the environments I grew up in. Between my low-income neighborhood and the naked hippy commune of the RenFest, I truly didn’t understand that there were places that limited clothing could be an issue. It made for a very awkward conversation in my first corporate job, where I was told I knew better when I REALLY had no clue. I wish someone had given me a guide of some sort…

skirt

Honestly, I think you should be able to wear whatever you want to work so long as it isn’t dangerous to you or others, or affect your abilities to perform job related tasks. I wouldn’t go to work naked if I were a burger flipper, for example. I mean, imagine the grease burns.

And if you have a day where you need to get a lot done, go to work in a Batman costume. Because fucking BATMAN.

It’s my understanding that Erin Brockovich has to deal with these kind of issues, where people judge her by her clothing, decide she’s incapable because she’s a woman, a single mom, sexually confident, and attractive.

Which makes me really glad to hear they’re re-opening the Melissa Nelson case.

Sent in to me by alert reader Brandon K, I had seen this when it was on trial, and dismayed when I heard the results, but had not heard that it was being debated again. Here’s the run down- Nelson was working as a dental hygienist for Dr. Knight FOR 10 YEARS, until he decided she was a threat to his marriage and fired her.

Because he found her too attractive.

Now, nothing in the article, the case, or anything I can find says that she returned his affections. In fact, as far as I can tell, she deliberately ignored a few questions and comments regarding her sexual life.

But she’s pretty and a single mom, so you know she puts out.

Apparently, just by being around him, she was ruining his marriage. Which is really selfish of her, if you ask me. She should have covered up more, maybe even worn Muslim women’s clothing to work.

You know- a job hijab. A hijobjab.

R.E.M is Still Waiting

I don’t want to write today’s article about the end of the world. First, because it’s cliche. Second, because it’s not. Third, there is no joke someone else hasn’t made.

Seriously. My Facebook feed is filled with them. My personal favorite were the Apocalypse Pick Up Lines. I won’t post other people’s jokes without permission, but you should totally post yours in the comments. Mine was “Will You be Mayan?” I also once sent a Valentine that said “I choo-choo-choose you” and it had a picture of a train on it.

Ralph Wiggam is my favorite Simpson's character.

Ralph Wiggam is my favorite Simpson’s character.

About 5 of my friends made jokes about having to still pay their bills. And Oh. My. God. the Facebook pictures.

The ones leading up:
NoMayanForecastNyeJokesPower

And then the day hit:
REM

Perth is having a day:
Perth1

I had to make the Galactus one bigger.

I had to make the Galactus one bigger.

People are expressing their disappointment:
KaboomGrumpy

Some people have been using the opportunity to promote various things:

As an aside, you should totally do this. Not this post. Their post.

As an aside, you should totally do this. Not this post. Their post.

PoorKid

But mostly? Nerds:
WalkingDeadDolphinsStarTrekDrWhoDrWho2

I’m sorry kids, but I’m going to have to side with Batman on this one:
Batman

It’s too bad there isn’t anything else going on today…

Note the lack of Christmas tree. Us Christians stole it from you pagans fair an square!

Note the lack of Christmas tree. Us Christians stole it from you pagans fair an square!

Happy Winter Solstice and Joyous Yule, you hippy heathens!

Rush Limbaugh, Fart Two: Fact Checker Job Application

So after yesterday’s whole Rush Limbaugh Batman thing I decided to check out his website this morning to see if he made a response to people pointing out his conspiracy theory built around an obvious factual error. Turns out he did.



In an incredibly lengthy post entitled World on Fire Over Batman and El Rushbo. He states in the first couple (of like a thousand) paragraphs that ” I made some comments about it. Doesn’t matter what. I have had more reaction to that than anything, including the Fluke thing.” He then goes on to state that he never said that Bane was created to dis Romney, that he made no conspiracy theory, this is the Democrat’s fault and about 5000 other words I didn’t bother to read.



After reading this I felt the same way that he did. Not that he never said that stuff and it’s all the left’s fault, but that people are blowing it way out of proportion. I decided to turn yesterday’s facetious offer to become his fact checker into a real one. Below is the email I sent him.


Bill Young Bill@youngnotions.com
10:20 AM (0 minutes ago)

to ElRushbo
Hi. I saw the whole media assault on you after your on air bit about the new Batman movie and read your response on your website and I have to say, I agree with you. Everybody blew this whole thing way out of proportion but when you’re in the public eye and say controversial things you’re going to be under more scrutiny than then general public. People are going to go over everything you say with a fine toothed comb looking for a reason to attack you.

That being said, I think you did misspeak. Although you say otherwise in your online response, I believe you honestly thought the Bane character was created for that movie as a jab at Romney. It’s a small error but it still is an error. I would like to help with that.

I want to offer my services to you as a fact checker. What I would like you to do is just email me a brief summary of the things you’re going to talk about on your show each day. I’ll make sure that there are no glaring factual errors on there that liberals can use to dogpile on you and send the summary back to you with any needed notes. I won’t attempt to edit or influence any content based on my personal beliefs, only check for statements that are easily proved false.

Now I should mention I do not believe that this will happen often but you are only human. Everybody makes a slip up like the “Bane” comment every now and again, you just get more criticism for it than most.

I should also mention that I am a liberal. I’m not a fan of your show and I don’t agree with many of the things you say but I want to do this for you and do it well because like you said, people are focusing on this little flub and it’s taking attention away from issues that matter. I would rather the left spend time arguing your actual views than a little slip up.

I expect to be compensated for this work (we are all capitalists here), should you choose to accept. I’ll allow you to make an offer for what you deem to be fair pay for this sort of thing and we’ll go from there. Please let me know if you’d like anything from me like a full resume or references. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Bill Young




In retrospect should have put something in about how hiring a liberal could be seen as “reaching across the aisle” and make him seem less biased or how if I screw up in my job he can just blame liberals for these slip ups (not that he doesn’t already). Whatever. I doubt he’ll even read this, much less take me up on my offer but a boy can dream.



Just a pic of Rush because posts with pics get more hits. Oh also this is his mugshot. From when he was arrested.