Cow tipping. You’ve all heard the stories about some southern rural yokels, drunk and bored, going out late at night to tip over some poor, unsuspecting cow for their amusement. In fact, it’s such a well-known story that Pixar did a parody of it with a pick-up truck and a bunch of tractors in their tear-jerker “Cars.”

Tear jerker? Well, *I* cried. I mean, I had just gotten back from either the doctor or the dentist and was on some very good medication, but I bawled like a baby. Don’t judge me.

I asked a friend of mine who grew up on a farm if he’d ever been cow tipping before, and here’s his response:

Never tried myself. Only folks I know firsthand who claim to have witnessed or participated are not folks whose stories I trust. The physics always seemed dubious to me. Cows ain’t particularly precarious. If they really slept that deeply, and if their physical response to such startling was to either lock up or buckle… then okay, sure, it’s at least feasible. But none of my experience with cows inclines me to expect any of those conditions.

And he’s right. Turns out that cow tipping isn’t a real thing. According to the article, some scientists at a Canadian University did the math, and it is impossible for one person to tip over a cow. In fact, it’s incredibly unlikely that you could find *three* people who could do it. Four incredibly well built people could conceivably do it, *if* the cow didn’t move for some reason.

And even if 4 people could somehow sneak up on a cow without their knowing it and tip it over, it would just get right back up again. Don’t believe me? Here’s a video of a truck full of cows tipping over. Watch as the cows spill out onto the road, and, totally unfazed, get up right and start wandering around.

All those stories about people tipping cows? Made up by rural folk to make us city folk look dumb.

But just because you can’t tip over a live cow, doesn’t mean you can’t tip over a fake cow. Two students from University of North Carolina tipped over a cow sculpture. The art piece entitled “Cow House” for the house the cow was carrying on its back (to show how cows support humanity, according to the artist) was anchored to the ground by a 400 pound concrete block.

But these two art critics tipped that sculpture over. They tipped the hell out of it. They showed that cow who’s boss. Proving that you can do anything you put your mind to.

As long as your standards are low enough.