“Bone Mangler” Playground Slides Recalled For Safety Reasons.

Parents going overboard with protecting their children has been talked about so much it’s cliche. When thinking of child safety the image of “Tucker” or “Hunter” or whatever yuppie kid name comes to mind, covered head to toe in headpads and toehelmets.

"Mom! I can't move!"

So considering that this society is so afraid that it’s children is going to get a splinter that they wrap a child in pillows every time they play a board game it’s strange that this slide was sold to schools all over the country.

The Groinbuster! From Bustco!

This is the Slalom Glider and it’s currently being recalled like crazy because a bunch of kids fractured their bones on it. Look at it! It looks like it was designed to make kids fall off it.

not pictured: pit of broken glass at the bottom.

The weird part is that most of the kids who were injured on it were injured because there’s no platform between the ladder and the beginning of the slide so they were falling off the damn thing before even making their terror straddle ride down. I just hope there were no bullies in the playgrounds where these were installed. I remember one time in elementary school some kid held his hand out at the bottom of the slide and smacked me in the face. I can only imagine what he would have done if I had come at him spread-eagle.

The producer of the slide has apologized for their poor design and promised to replace each slalom glider with an abandoned refridgerator.

You can't escape the fun!

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