If you interact with me at all online through facebook, twitter or friendster then you know that I am doing a show at the Minnesota Fringe Festival this year

click the horse for more info!

wait… that’s Jen’s show. Go see that one, too (click for more info!)

At twelve bells yesterday, the House of Lords and House of Commons passed a bill legalizing gay marriage. The Queen has given her assent by placing her royal seal on the rolled parchment the bill was written on.



While the bill went through without much of a tiff, some conservative toffs threw wobblys like MP Gerald Howarth, who angered many when he referred to “the aggressive homosexual community” that would “see this is as but a stepping stone to something even further.” The tosser even took the piss out of homosexual couples when he tweeted “The Queen has given Royal Assent to Same Sex Marriage. Aggressive homosexuals, please note. Go forth and propose.”



While blokes who oppose the measure have been in a strop and giving their tuppen’orth on the telly, poofs can just tell them to slag off as same sex rumpy pumpy can now be done within the sanctity of marriage!



The bill’s drafter, Lord Evelyn Berkingsworth of Chestershire was quoted as saing “if two blokes want to fiddle their bolloks and see fit to wed, I’d be a numpty nutter to nobble their lives.”



The Church of England and the Catholic Church in England are both well opposed, one representative of the C of E was quoted as saying “Cor Blimey! This cock up is all codswallop!



While the opposition is crying stone and crows the parliament bloody well did it! Homesexuals can rejoice because in 2014, Bob’s your wife!

Are you so busy that it seems like there’s not enough hours in the day? These “life hacks” can save you so much time on simple daily tasks you can relax and focus your time and energy on what’s important. Watching cat videos on the internet.



HAMBURGERS MADE EASY




We all love a good hamburger but who has the time to find a wild steer, slaughter it, clean it, grind the beef, store the unused hundreds of pounds of meat, harvest wheat, mill into flour, and bake the flour into bread (and that’s just if you don’t want any cheese or condiments)?



Not a lot of people know this but many grocery stores carry pre-packaged ground beef in 1-5 pound servings so you don’t have to worry about eating hundreds of pounds of beef before it goes bad. They also carry pre-made hamburger buns as well as a large selection of condiments. There are even restaurants that will make hamburgers for you!



CUT YOUR BATHROOM TIME BY 90%




Almost 85% of Americans urinate but 100% agree it’s a pain to do. You walk into the bathroom and urinate, change out of your urine soaked pants and shower. Most public restrooms don’t even have a shower so you end up giving your self a paper towel sponge bath! Just pull your pants and underwear down before urinating and you’ll save a ton of time. Most men’s underwear even has a flap in the front so you don’t need to pull the underwear down. Once finished, you can continue wearing the same pants and all you have to wash is your hands!



USE THE DOOR




Leaving your house every day can be time consuming, expensive and painful. Instead of jumping through a window, try opening and walking out the door? You’ll save the expense of replacing the window and be spared the lacerations associated with defenestration.



Let me know how these work for you! I still haven’t tried #3 yet.

Hello, friends of Jena and Ukrainian spambots! We took some time off due to the holiday and CONvergence but we’re back and posting daily as of today!



So let’s take a look at what’s in the news. Honestly, I’ll normally check all the major news sites in the morning for something to write about but when I’m not working on a post I almost never check the news. Let’s see what CNN has to offer.







Oh Jesus, that’s awful. Let’s try another article –







Oh no. I can’t really say anything except my thoughts go out to the survivors and loved ones of the victims. Is there anything else on CNN today?







Oh, man.







No.







Seriously?



This was all just from the front page alone.



I think I’m just going to pack it up for now and try again tomorrow.



Jesus, I wish it was an election year.

It’s back! What started as a joke I thought of last minute when I couldn’t come up with a blog one day has now blossomed into an annual tradition. The CONvergence Cosplay Bingo Board has been updated with plenty of new British themed squares for this year’s “British Invasion” theme but still has plenty of the classic squares from the last two years.



If you’re at CONvergence you can pick up a free copy at the Stand Up! Records party room (#128- where I’ll be spending most of my time) or the Fearless Comedy party room (#224- where Jena will be located pretty much all of CON). If you get coverall you’ll be awarded with a smug sense of self satisfaction (the same prize they give out at NPR game shows!) and if you get coverall and have have the 24 pictures to prove it I’ll have a super special secret prize for you*!







*Warning: Super special secret prize will most likely be very disappointing.



***Jena’s Edit*** YoungNotions will be hosting the Fearless Party Room for an hour or so on Friday. Make sure to stop by #224 for a button or sticker! No new posts til next Monday, because AMERICA!