“Hey Kitty? It’s Judy.”

“Well, hello Judy! How is your day going?”

“Oh, it’s going just swell. And you, Kitty? How are your boys?”

“They’re great, Judy. Tommy just came in second in the school wide spelling bee. We’re all very proud of him over here, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, well congratulations, Kitty! That’s just wonderful! He’s what, 14 now?”

“Just turned. Now, Judy, what can I do for you?”

“Well, Billy is turning 16 next week, and we’re going to have a little party for him. I was wondering if Tommy and Timmy would like to come.”

“Oh that sounds just wonderful! Of course they would, Judy!”

“It’s going to be a mixed party. You’re okay with that, aren’t you? We’re going to keep a close eye on them.”

“Well, of course I trust you Judy.”

“Excellent! It’s going to be at the Spare Time Family Fun Center.”

“What a good idea! But you’ll keep an eye on the kids… You know they serve alcohol there.”

“Yes, and we plan on getting several pitchers for the party. The kids do love to have a good time, Kitty”

“What?”

“Well, only cheap beer, of course. It’s not like kids at this age can tell the difference.”

“Uh…”

“And Kitty, we’re taping up the windows, and we’re going to have strippers come in from Tops in Bottoms.”

“You’re doing what?!?”

“Well, you should always have live entertainment at a party, Kitty. That shows your child you really care.”

A woman hired strippers and served booze at her son’s 16th birthday party. I can only aspire to be such an awesome mom. Because otherwise I might land in jail.