I know- I’m a homemaker. Mondays shouldn’t affect me anymore. When I took the gig, I was looking forward to not having to roll out of bed at 7 in the morning so I could get to work at 9, drink a bunch of tar that passes for something coffee like, and then walk people through creating desktop shortcuts. A typical conversation would have me saying “No, I want you to right click on the desktop. No, not the computer icon. Yes, that’s right. Right click on the picture of your cat.”
Look, if you could figure out how to change the wallpaper on your desktop to a picture of your cat, you should know what your desktop is. Hell, you probably right-clicked your desktop and went to properties to change your wallpaper in the first place.
LOLcats on a Monday morning. See, it’s funny ’cause cats don’t have jobs or drink coffee, but people do.
The point is, I left all that to spend days home, working on projects, helping my son school on-line, and keeping my home clean and cooking meals for my man. LIKE ANY GOOD WOMAN SHOULD.
But what really happens is that I get out of bed at 8, make breakfast for Jared and get him ready for school which he starts at 9, figure out the schooling for the day, and then I stare blankly at my computer screen trying to figure out what blog post I’m making for the day.
Ahem.
And still, Mondays are the worst. I spent all day yesterday curled up with my husband watching Parks and Rec, and now you’re telling me I have to deal with Monday again? Seriously, fuck Mondays.
And by Mondays, I do not mean black people.
Yeah, I know everyone else learned this a few months ago, but I’m just now catching up. If you have been living under a rock with me, this is for you. Monday = African American ethnic slur. For more on this, we turn to on the scene ace reporter Russell Peters:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnc6Asflzq8]
To be fair, if you’re going to be insulting, calling someone a Monday is possibly the worst day of the week you could throw at them. I mean, I really can’t think of a better day of the week to throw at someone.
There. the post is done. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to drinking coffee and looking at cute pictures of cats. Just not black ones.
What? It’s because they’re bad luck.
Racist.