EDITOR: Great job watching yesterday’s Daily Show, Colbert Report and Rachel Maddow, writing descriptions of what you saw and posting those descriptions with embedded videos of said shows, people! What’s next on the docket?



“WRITER”: We still need a top story for tomorrow, sir.



EDITOR: Okay, we need a headline! Something that people need to know! Something that will grab their attention! Serious journalism aggregation!



“WRITER”: Well, there’s an AP article on the summer drought causing a corn shortage…



EDITOR: Any way we can link this to Romney?



“WRITER”: Well, not really.



EDITOR: Then you’re wasting my time, kid!



“WRITER”: But this is really important stuff! A shortage of corn could be disastrous. We use corn for so many things! It’s used in so many food products, it’s used to feed livestock, even ethanol gas is made from corn! This can affect food prices and fuel prices. A shortage of corn in this shakey economy could potentially lead to a national crisis!



EDITOR: Hm. Good point. Okay, you convinced me! Sprinkle on the usual “according to the Associated Press” and “the article said” throughout the original piece and throw it up on the site! Now all we need is a headline…



“WRITER”: Okay, I was thinking something that would really convey the severity of the issue.



EDITOR: I got it! Let’s use a corn pun!



“WRITER”: …Saywhatnow?



EDITOR: Yeah! A corn pun! That’s what’s needed to jazz this boring old article up! Something like “Aw Shucks!”.



“WRITER”: You can’t be serious.



EDITOR: I’ve been repurposing newswire articles for nearly a decade and I’ll be goddamned if I get told how to do my job from some snot nosed kid straight out of UNC! If you want the article on the front page it’s going up with a corn pun!