The Jealousy of Michele Bachmann

Okay. This is going to come as a shock to a lot of you but this actually happened. Michele Bachmann said something stupid and crazy. No lie.



Last week she and four other representatives sent letters to security officials warning that the Muslim Brotherhood may have infiltrated the U.S. government. Among the top of the list, Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin.



Muslim!





Basically, her family members knew people who knew people who are in the Muslim Brotherhood, an organization that Al-Queda hates for not being evil enough.



If she is an operative she must be under the deepest cover ever considering she just had a kid with a Jewish guy.



Of course the allegations are baseless. High ranking republicans like John McCain and John Boehner have gone on record to say that it’s bonkers to think that she’s a terrorist. That doesn’t mean that some people aren’t going to believe Bachmann. Abedin has received death threats since Bachmann opened her crazy mouth and Wes Harris, head of the Arizona Tea Party (“Arizona Tea Party” is a really redundant term. Might as well just say “crazy crazy”)is trying to get John McCain recalled for defending Abedin.



There’s so many reasons why these attacks on Huma Abedin are just completely untrue, she’s a dedicated public servant, close friends with the Clinton family (former Prez. Bill presided over her wedding and Hillary has refered to her as a “second daughter), not to mention she’s way too hot to be a terrorist –



I wouldn’t touch that guy with a ten foot waterboard.


If that’s what terrorists look like she can jihad my evil empire any day.





The real question here is why is Michele Bachmann doing this? Of course she’s crazy and an Islamophobe but that really can’t be enough to try to ruin the name of an innocent woman. I think I know what’s motivating her. Jealousy.



She’s jealous of Huma Abedin. Now, you may ask what she could be jealous of, other than Huma’s intelligence, class, looks and the fact that people don’t roll their eyes every time she speaks. It’s her husband, former Congressman Anthony Weiner.



Bachmann just can’t get over the fact that Huma Abedin married somebody so… heterosexual.



Think about it. You can call Anthony Weiner a lot of things but you can’t call him a closet case. Just ask all those girls he sent cock pics to on twitter. He’s so very straight! To top it all off he’s Jewish (just ask all those girls he sent cock pics to on twitter) which means he’s straight without any help from Jesus! He didn’t even have to pray away any gay! Bachmann takes one look at her husband, who’s one disgruntled masseuse from getting Travolta’d and then looks at Huma’s husband and it sends her into a jealous rage! She can’t handle it so her only option is to try to ruin her.



That has to be it. The only other explanation is that Michele Bachmann is a bigoted, racist whack job.