I know state rivalry is stupid. Why Minnesotans make fun of Wisconsin…ites? Wisconsonians? Wisconsiners? Whatever. Why we make fun of them is beyond me. I don’t even like sports so it makes even less sense because I don’t even hate their football team. Whatever the reason I will make fun of Wisconsin whenever I have the chance because they’re a bunch of fat, cheese eating drunken hicks even though Minnesotans are pretty much the same thing.
That being said, of course this is a news story in Wisconsin. Stupid hillbillies.
For those of you afraid of clicking blue words, I’ll break it down for you. A man got pulled over last winter on a frozen lake with a Blood-Alcohol content of .365 . For those of you unfamiliar with BAC, here’s a handy dandy chart courtesy of wikipedia.
Click for the full article and some interesting stories under the "Highest recorded Blood Alcohol Content" section
I love how in the “>.50” row the behavior listed is “death”. Shouldn’t “life” be listed in the impairments column?
Personal reference: One time when I was 21 I bought a breathalyzer from Sharper Image and turned it into a drinking game with my roommates. The name of the game was “Let’s See How High We Can Get The Numbers on This Thing”. My last memory of the night was blowing into it and reading “.22” before blacking out.
Back to the story. Prosecutors charged the guy with drunk driving because he was driving incredibly drunk. “A judge dismissed the case, though, ruling Wisconsin’s drunken driving laws apply to premises open to public motor vehicle use and the lake didn’t qualify.”
Thankfully, the case was appealed and the appeals court decided driving drunk is still driving drunk even if it’s not on a street. Frankly, I can’t see how this was dismissed to begin with. Most Wisconsin frozen lakes have nicer houses on them than most residential neighborhoods (take that, you stupid state!).
Just to be safe, here’s a list for that judge who dismissed the case of places that aren’t open to public motor vehicle use that people should not drive while intoxicated to the point they almost die.
Playgrounds
Hospitals
Basketball Courts
The Bottom of Unfrozen Lakes
Liquor Stores
Most Churches (I think you can if you’re a Scientologist. It’s a religious thing)
Movie Theaters.
On a completely unrelated note I’ll be at St. Croix Casino in Danbury, WI tonight and Turtle Lake, WI tomorrow. Go Packers!