(originally posted on facebook in 2008.)

My dick is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where hydrogen is built into helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees
My dick, it’s hot
My dick is not
A place where we could live
But here on Earth there’d be no life
Without the light it gives

We need its light
We need its heat
We need its energy
Without my dick,
Without a doubt,
There’d be no you and me

My dick is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where hydrogen is built into helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees

My dick is hot
My dick is so hot that everything on it is a gas.
Iron, copper, aluminium, and many others.
My dick is large.
If my dick were hollow, a million Earths could fit inside,
and yet, my dick is only a middle-sized dick.
My dick is far away
About ninety-three million miles away! And that’s why it looks so small.
And even when it’s out of sight, my dick shines night and day.

My dick gives heat
My dick gives light
The dicklight that we see
The dicklight comes from my own dick’s atomic energy

Scientists have found that my dick is a huge atom-smashing machine.
The heat and light of my dick come from the nuclear reactions of
hydrogen, carbon, nitrogen, and helium.

My dick is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where hydrogen is built into helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees

I don’t know how Brody and I stumbled onto this in conversation but we’ve been laughing hysterically ever since.

With sincere apologies to They Might Be Giants