Long ago King Boreas, lord of the four winds, stumbled on a charming little town in Minnesota. The street layout made no sense and almost everything shut down at 8PM. Their downtown was a barren wasteland, devoid of any activity which was probably a blessing because if more than 12 people were there it was almost impossible to find parking.
Boreas took pity upon the little hamlet, with it’s statues of Snoopy and pathetic attempt to make LaCrosse look like a professional sport people care about. “I shall make a carnival in Old Saint Paul!” Boreas exclaimed. “There will be ice carvings and a parade and buttons. People like buttons, right?”
Year after year Saint Paul was temporarily revitalized by Boreas’ generosity. The streets were filled with dozens of people as they frolicked in a winter wonderland and all was good. There were two parades! One during the day and one at night but not too late because people still had to get to bed. A giant ice palace was erected! People hunted all over parks searching for buried treasure! For ten days out of the year the streets of Saint paul were not ruled by the wandering homeless but merry revelers! King Boreas looked down on the celebration he created and called it good.
Eventually, though, Boreas grew bored at the late hour of 8 PM when everybody would go to sleep. The residents of Saint Paul were not used to such merriment and all this activity tuckered them out even earlier than usual. King Boreas looked around for anybody to join him in winter fun but all the residents slumped away, mumbling something about having to get up at like 7:00 for work. He wandered up to St. Paul’s highest hill and cried “Isn’t there anything to do around here?!?” He then looked to the west for the first time and saw a bustling metropolis filled with skycrapers, lights and activity. He crossed the river into Minneapolis and declared “THIS! This shall be the site of my new Winter Carnival! The Minneapolis Winter Carnival!”
King Boreas planted his flag into the frozen ground and proclaimed “and Denson & Young shall headline our first carnival!”
Come see the show that made Boreas cross the Mississippi. Come see Denson and Young present The First Minneapolis Winter Carnival Opening Ceremonies (on ice)!
Whatever. We didn’t want to do that stupid carnival this year anyway.