Once upon a time there was a boy who started a blog because he quit his job to be a stay at home stepdad / comedian and his wife said “if you’re going to be home all day you’re gonna write comedy every day.” The boy wrote the blog every weekday and soon, due to his tendency to swear excessively and write about weird topics, the blog started getting hits from google searches that were kind of weird. In fact, some were downright disturbing.

The boy started posting about those search engine hits when he got sick of making fun of republican presidential candidates and now we’re here in our 6th installment of The Things You Weirdos Type Into Search Engines



In case you missed out, here’s links to the previous installments –

Shitting While Standing Bad For Health

Foreskin Donut

I can’t stop farting and it’s affecting my job

the fuck you fuck you dairy

what is the medical term for queef?

and here’s some google search hits from the last 30 days!

south park mr hankey xxx
Okay, it’s bad enough that there’s somebody out there looking for anthropomorphic cartoon turd porn but I got two hits for this one in the same day.

Hey, speaking of poop –

turd plane comedy
I don’t even know what this person was looking for. A comedy about a plane made out of turds? Jokes about pooping on a plane? In don’t… What?

knitted foreskin
What’s sad about this one is that it’s not even the strangest foreskin related search term that’s led to this site.

god are you there for hindus
I like that it’s not asking “Is God there for Hindus”, it’s asking “god are you there for hindus”. Like the person asking thinks google is god. They’re praying to the internet.

meat goo
I know this one came up because I did a post about pink slime in beef and called it “meat goo” but I’m sure that’s not what this person was looking for. I shudder to think what that person was looking for.

Seriously. You all should be ashamed of yourselves.