Tag Archives: vladimir putin

Putin Stomps Down Pussy Riot

Posted on by
1

As I’ve mentioned in this blog before, Vladimir Putin is a scary, scary man. Just look at him –



Wait…





Probably not the best pic to use. He’s really not that scary when he’s all goofy smiles and shiny dresses. Okay, here we go –



It’s just a tranq gun. He actually turned it on him self and shot a dart in his leg to even the odds before running off to wrestle a bear.





He’s scary. He spent years working in the KGB, the agency that was the bad guy in every ’80s action movie. He’s the master of several martial arts. His favorite hobby is shooting large animals with tranquilizer darts for study and tracking which means he has a vicious bloodlust but is shrewd enough to act out his violent urges without ruining his image. Scary.



Now I’m not totally familiar with his politics except that his elections are totally rigged but that alone should let you know he’s not on the level. Just look at him. He’s totally up to something –



Shady.





Oh and here’s another thing. He throws political dissidents in jail forever.



The story linked is about Russian female punk band Pussy Riot. They’ve been doing protest shows around Moscow and their most recent stunt was to go to the Cathedral of Christ the Savior and play their song “Punk Prayer” –



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALS92big4TY&w=560&h=315]



In the song they sing “Our Lady, vote Putin out!” This happened in March. The three band members in the video were quickly arrested for “hooliganism” and have been in jail ever since.



Putin doesn’t take kindly to riots from any body part.





The Russian government just slapped another six months of incarceration on them and their trial starts today. If found guilty, which will probably happen because Putin is a scary karate spy that rigs elections so he wouldn’t have a problem setting up a kangaroo court for the women, they could face up to seven years in prison for jumping around and singing in a church.



This is crazy. By simply doing a non violent protest, Pussy Riot has gained the ire of the Russian President, the attention of international media and the complete jealousy of every American punk band that thought getting a little pepper spray at an Occupy protest gave them punk cred.



Hopefully this sparks some change. A lot of people are watching to see how this plays out. If Putin does decide to make an example of these women there’s a small chance this could lead to actual riots and not just the pussy kind. Chances are he’ll probably feel the heat, let them go and nothing major will happen but I’d love it if this actually created some change in Russia. Not just because their government is corrupt and needs change but it’d be hilarious if major reform all started with a Pussy Riot. Revaginaolution. A Coup de Clit.



That’s Georga O’Keefe flower power.


Hot Mummy Armpits: The Continuing Tale of You Weirdos Typing Crazy Shit Into Search Engines.

Posted on by
3

This is pretty much a monthly thing now.



Once again I dive head first into the site stats to see what google searches led people to this blog because the only thing in the news right now is the Sandusky trial and something about Russia protests. I really don’t have anything to say about Sandusky except “I hope he goes to jail forever” and I don’t know anything about Russian politics. Also, I don’t want to get on Vladimir Putin’s bad side. Does not seem like the kind of guy you want to fuck with.



There are like two dozen pics of him on his wikipedia page and all but one contain this same cold, analytic stare. The one with him smiling seems even more terrifying somehow.




But enough about the scary Russian man. Let’s see what you freaks have been typing into google!


hot mummy armpits
Jesus. The worst part is that this could be one of two things and both are gross. There’s either somebody out there with one of the most specific fetishes I’ve ever heard of (I’m into monsters but only mummies and particularly their armpits) or it’s a british dude looking for old lady armpits.


any websites that you can ask women to take their bra off
Yes. Half of the internet is those sites. It’s called porn. Do… do you not know that porn exists?


does anybody like bitches?
I like to think that this was entered by a girl who was nice but thinking of becoming a bitch but wanted to know if that was the right move.

To answer the question, no. Bitches be crazy.


chinese horizontal vagina anatomy
Okay. I kind of remember referencing something in a blog a while back about that weird old stereotype about Chinese girls having sideways vaginas but I couldn’t actually recall when I wrote about it so I actually googled “youngnotions chinese sideways vagina” (life imitates art!) and I found this piece of finely crafted political satire.

What’s weird about this one is that this search shows the user isn’t completely stupid, given their use of words like “horizontal” and “anatomy” but it shows they’re pretty stupid because they’re asking the internet if Chinese girls have sideways vaginas.


the log ride turds
…I don’t even know what this person wants.


why does my dick shine in the light
Probably because you spend so much time waxing it! Boom! High five!

Seriously though you should have a doctor check that out if it’s really shiny.


Thanks for reading, confused perverts! Hopefully you were able to have some laughs even though you didn’t get the naked sasquatch pictures you were looking for or whatever.