Tag Archives: sports

Let the Olympic Games Begin!

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The 2012 Summer Olympics starts today and I am incredibly excited. So many sports to choose from. Horse Jumping, Table Tennis, Sailing, I love them all! It’s a shame the summer games only comes once every four years but that makes it all the sweeter.



One of the sports that fans will certainly be keeping an eye on this year is Women’s Hurdles. Particularly because of a young Australian rising star named Michelle Jenneke, who became a youtube sensation after her pre-race warmup dance went viral (yeah I’m not posting the cheesy 80’s music version) –



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qhR0Ie64PI&w=560&h=315]



Jenneke, who is one to watch in this year’s Olympic games… wait.



She didn’t make it into this year’s games?



Man, fuck the Olympics! Who really watches that shit, anyway?



See you in 2016, I guess.

Weekend Sports Wrap Up!

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Anybody who knows me knows that I am a huge sports fanatic so this weekend was a real treat for somebody like me (a guy who loves sports)! Let’s take a look back and see what this exciting weekend had to offer, sports wise!


WING BOWL 2102

Hundreds of spectators cheered as Takeru Kobayashi ate 337 chicken wings in a half hour (average 11.2 wings per minute), smashing the world record by 87 wings. When asked how he felt after the competition, Kobayashi, who was literally covered in wing sauce, said via translator “I can’t… Oh God… just, just give me a minute… Jesus Christ… I don’t… Oh God.”

Takeru Kobayashi promised to devour all that is made. The earth and the stars. All will be consumed by Kobayashi until there is nothing.




CYCLING

Alberto Contador was stripped of his 2010 Tour De France title after the sport’s highest court found him guilty of doping. Cycling fans are hailing him as the first cyclist to be in the news since Lance Armstrong.


CRICKET

Pakistan beat England 99 & 365 to 141 & 252, which I’m told somehow adds up to them winning by 72 runs. Literally taken directly from the original article, “Chasing 324 to win, on a wearing pitch with areas of rough, against a brace of classy spinners, would always prove the tallest of orders, and once again the England batsmen were to prove inadequate. Alastair Cook resisted for four hours, squeezing out 49 runs, and Matt Prior launched a jaunty counter-attack when the game was pretty much up making the same score, but unbeaten. There were even some runs, 31, for Eoin Morgan who, with a total of 82, emerged as the leading run scorer of an abject middle order. It was to no avail, however. Pakistan chipped away throughout the day, always in control and dismissed England for 252, defeat for them coming by 71.” England’s bowlers hurled some nasty gobs at the wickets but the Pakistani batsmen swept the tibblers off the toddy and gibbled the thislepuff. Once Pakistan’s seeker caught the snitch it was all over for England.

You think it'd be kind of like baseball but it's actually nothing like baseball.

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I think I’ve really got a knack for sports reporting.

You Need Help

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For far too long I’ve watched from the sidelines and didn’t say anything because I felt it wasn’t my place. It’s been killing me inside to see you like this and it’s time I said something. You’re being abused by your football team.


Face it, it’s true. The Minnesota Vikings are abusing you and you’re just allowing them to walk all over you. I don’t know much about football but even I know if you’re a fan of a team that’s 2-8 this season and lost 19 of their last 27 games something is seriously wrong.


Again, you might think I’m being out of place since I’m not a football fan. You think I might not understand. It’s true that I really don’t care about football but I do like comic books and if Batman got the shit kicked out of him eight out of every ten issues I would start reading another comic book.


As if the losing record wasn’t enough, the Vikings are actually trying to bully you into buying them a new stadium. I saw the commercial last week watching a game. It played on nearly every commercial break.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPcbnkilOds&w=560&h=315]
Sweet words but do you think a new stadium is going to make it all better? The stadium isn’t the problem, the Vikings are the problem.


This isn’t new, either. The Vikings have never won a superbowl for you and you still stand by them. You can argue all you want and tell me that while they’ve never won a superbowl that they’ve played in four but the last one they’ve seen was in 1977. How old were you? Were you even alive?


They keep treating you like this and you keep cheering for them. You’re enabling them. This needs to stop. You can just as easily root for another team. When you think about it, the reasons for most sports fandom is pretty arbitrary and solely based on geographic location so what’s stopping you from supporting another team? Pick one that wins a lot, maybe one that has a logo you think is cool or just throw a dart at a board with a bunch of names taped to it. I don’t care, anything has to be better than the abuse you’re enduring.


Just don’t root for the Packers. Seriously. Fuck those guys.


Viktor the Abuser. I really only put this picture here because posts with pics statistically get more hits so here you go.