Congratulations to Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi on the birth of her first child, Lorenzo Dominic LaValle!
Yep, that thing’s a mom now.
I don’t really know much about Jersey Shore since I’ve never seen a single episode but I do know that everybody there has a stupid nickname for some reason. Now I read on wikipedia that, traditionally, the “Guido” or “Guidette” will choose their nickname after contracting their first STD so here’s some suggestions of possible nicknames for little Lorenzo when that day finally comes 12 years from now.
Benzo
Lorenzcrafters
The Incident
Lollipop
Lorenzo Lamas
PussPound
Snooki Jr.
Spinoff
MTV Presents Lorenzo
Manscape
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Tanning Bed
Li’l Snook Snook
Doesn’t-say-it-out-loud-because-he-knows-it-isn’t-socially-acceptable-but-totally-hates-black-people
Bodyshots
Loud in Crowded Public Areas
L.L. Bean
Negative Stereotype
Hope he uses one of my suggestions!