Charles M. Schulz, Peanuts creator and super cartoonist of doom, was born and raised in St. Paul. Being one of the most exciting things to happen to St. Paul ever (being a state capitol is boring), the city launched the “Peanuts on Parade” tributes to Charles. These “parades” were a different character every year. The first year, 2000, featured Snoopy. I know this because after my son was born, my Baby Daddy posed with one of these statues on display at the hospital where I had just spent the past 12 hours in back labor.

Not the actual picture respecting BabyDaddy’s privacy. But this is the statue.

There have been other characters in years to follow. Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus… and Snoopy’s dog house. Do you know who wasn’t featured? Charlie Brown’s crush. The little red-haired girl.

We hear about her all the time in the animated cartoons. That little girl that Charlie brown has a crush on. Everyone knows except her. And you have to think that if EVERYONE knew, she probably did too. She probably had no interest in Charlie Brown, and just kept making herself unavailable, meeting up with other friends when it looked like he was getting close.

He tried, poor Charlie Brown. Trying to get up the courage to talk to her. Manipulating events around him just to get closer to her. Not actually saying anything to her… just, you know, being near her.

It’s a little creepy. Like he’s stalking her.

In a completely unrelated note, Peter Robbins, the voice of Charlie Brown, was arrested on charges of stalking.

I wonder where he learned that from?