Can you believe it’s been over a month since the election? I got thinking about all those kooky republican primary candidates that were occupying my nightmares no more than a year ago when I heard something on the radio about Tim Pawlenty getting a job as a consultant for something or other. It made me think about what happened to all the other candidates? What are they doing? Let’s take a look.



Mitt Romney

Before we get to the primary candidates let’s look at the biggest loser. Last I saw was some fluff news story about him pumping his own gas or something. My guess is that he’s dealing with the loss by hiring Obama look-alikes to hunt on his private island for sport or trying to build a spaceship to find Kolob.



Herman Cain

Probably out sexually harassing some chicks.

Seriously though he pops up in the media every now and again. He’s recently been calling for conservatives to create a 3rd party because the Republicans don’t represent true conservatives these days and the current party has a little too much legitimacy.



Ron Paul!

Ron Paul quit Congress. Below is his 48 minute retirement speech. I only saw the first couple of minutes but he comes out the gate by shit talking Democrats, Republicans, government and Congress. I don’t know if he’s being badass or just whiny.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q03cWio-zjk&w=420&h=315]



Michele Bachmann

We will never be rid of the monster. This bitch is bulletproof. Pure teflon. She will be screeching on TV about lightbulb freedom and trying to get people to pray the gay away long after I’m dead. I don’t know how the 6th district keeps re-electing her. I seriously don’t.



Rick Santorum

Ugh. Who cares? Seriously. I think he’s doing weekly columns for worldnetdaily or some bullshit. Whatever. Fuck him. Ugh.