Tag Archives: rape

Rape and STDs

Posted on by
Reply

We here at YoungNotions almost always provide you with humor to get you through the day. We are a comedy blog, and comedy is our number one objective.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Our number one objective is to make you feel better. Often, that’s done with fart jokes. Once in a while, we do a political rant, or address something that affects us here at YoungNotions deeply. Sometimes, we have a heart-warming story to share.

Today is none of those things. Today, we do a public service announcement about sex, rape, and STDs.

We have a tendency to shame people for having an STD. Because, you see, it involves sex. It involves sex with sluts, or dirty people… making bad choices and engaging in shameful acts. STDs are different from other diseases because of that sex aspect.

Sex is horrible, and you should only engage in it only inside of wedlock for procreation purposes.

Most of the people that read this blog fall into the liberal demographic, so I know that few of you are buying that load of garbage. Sex is natural, it’s fun, and it’s a wonderful expression of love. Engaging in sex does not make you a bad person.

And yet, we put STDs in a separate classification of disease, with connotations of promiscuity and stupidity. Only sluts get STDs, and only stupid people don’t protect themselves.

No one blames me for catching a cold. We all know it can happen even if I don’t shake hands with people, even if I scrub my hands every 5 minutes, even if I never step outside.

Protection is never 100%, you can catch some STDs non-sexually, and “safer” sex does not mean you’re “safe.”.

I bring this up because an article was brought to my attention from a very dear friend of mine who thought I could use it for a YoungNotions post. And there are elements of funny in it, but I want to make sure that I’m very clear on what elements I find funny about this.

Richard Thomas, Rapist, Upset He Might Have Gotten HIV From Victim

What I do not find funny:

    A woman was raped.
    Someone with an STD was raped.
    A slut with an STD was raped.
    A rapist may have contracted an STD.
    A rapist may have contracted an STD from his victim.

Now, humor is subjective, and you may find this hysterical, and I will not tell you that you are wrong. I may disagree, I may even find it horrifying that you think it’s funny to call a rape victim a slut, but I will not tell you it’s not funny. I will tell you it’s not funny to me, and probably to a very large group of people. But I don’t claim to have your background or your sense of humor. Maybe you find it funny because you were raped once and find calling victims sluts darkly funny as a satire against how our society treats rape victims. I can see that. But none of that is intrinsically funny to me.

I don’t find his possible HIV contraction funny. I don’t even find it poetic justice, as I’m tired of people shaming and blaming people for having STDs.

What I do find funny is that HE is so horrified that he may have contracted an STD that he collapsed upon hearing the news.

Because that guy was so full of a need to control, to dominate, to be a big man, to take what he wanted, and when faced with news he found distasteful, he fucking fainted like a Victorian lady seeing someone showing a little scandalous ankle.

I just want to pinch his cheeks and say to him in a voice you would use for a 5 year old “who’s a big, tough rapist? Are you a big tough guy? Are you? you’re such a big tough guy?”

All that huff and puff, and it took one little disease covered in our societal shame to bring him down.

So yes. Today’s post isn’t inherently funny. It’s a lot of comedy theory and social commentary. I’ll admit that a lot of this is focused on the STD carriers of the world, about helping to tear down connotations and ideals surrounding STDs, and the idea that it’s okay to use it as a weapon against someone.

So, 20% of the population, this one’s for you. I hope you feel better. Because that is our number one goal.

Number two is fart jokes.

Dangerous Rape Victim Released From Dubai Prison.

Posted on by
2

In a bizzare turn of events, the Vice President of the United Arab Emirates has given a full pardon to Marte Deborah Dalelv, the Norwegian criminal who was apprehended by the authorities after showing up to a police station and reporting that she had been raped. .



The decision to pardon the rape victim have stunned residents of the UAE, a country where rape victims are generally imprisioned or fined without issue.



The rape victim has said she will return home to Norway but was told that she is free to stay in the UAE as long as she no longer tries to tell people if she is sexually assaulted.



While a majority of UAE residents believe this is an isolated incident, a growing number of residents are becoming afraid that this may embolden more women may try to report rapes.



Men normally have nothing to fear from a woman reporting a rape, as the woman can be charged with many different crimes for reporting sexual assault. Anything from making false statement to drinking alcohol or having sex outside of a marriage. However, as was in the case of Marte Deborah Dalelv, her rapist also had to be imprisoned for drinking alcohol and sex outside a marriage. Had he been sober and unmarried he would have merely been charged with the much less severe crime of “illegal sex”. He could even deny that they had sex and he would be charged with nothing.



While Dubai residents are relieved that the rapist has been released from his unjust imprisionment, many are worried that there’s a rape victim roaming the streets. Some activists are calling on the Federal Supreme Council to pass a law to create a sex offense victim registry database to keep track of these dangerous individuals and to alert residents when a rape victim moves into their neighboorhood.



Others are determined to not let fear of rape victims run their lives. One citizen was quoted as saying “I’ve been raping my whole life and I’m not going to stop because I’m afraid I’ll get reported. As soon as you stop raping, that’s when the rape victims win.”

Surprise! Some Old Republican Said Something Awful About Rape!

Posted on by
4

Senator Saxby Chambliss, who is arguably has the most southern sounding name in congress next to Rep. Dixiegrit Slaveseller (R- Missouri), has made headlines soing something that happens so often in congress it’s not even going to make headlines pretty soon if it keeps happening.



That’s right! An old white republican in office said something casually dismissive about rape

Weird. He's got that look that just screams "compassion towards victims of sexual violence"

Weird. He’s got that look that just screams “compassion towards victims of sexual violence”





Specifically, he was at a Senate Armed Forces Committee hearing on the subject of the rampant unreported sexual assaults happening in the military. Among other things, he said “”The young folks that are coming into each of your services are anywhere from 17 to 22-23. Gee whiz — the hormone level created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur.”



Anybody who thinks we don’t live in a culture that condones rape just needs to look at their elected officials stating that rape is something that “just happens” when you get enough young men together.



Here’s the crazy part. He still has his job. If I had said anything like that around coworkers when I worked in one of my many customer service jobs I’d have been fired so fast I wouldn’t even be able to stuff my pockets with post it notes and staples. My jobs had nothing to do with keeping rapes from happening or making sure rapists were caught. This guy’s on the committee investigating the rape epidemic in the military, blames it on fucking hormones and still gets to be in the Senate, much less the committee.



Seriously. Congress needs an HR department or something.



To make matters worse this isn’t even an election year so this will all probably blow over by the time GeneralLee McRapeallow is up for reelection.



I thought we were done with this after the whole Todd Akin “legitimate rape” stuff but I guess there’s always going to be old white guys in the Senate that think rape isn’t that big of a deal so I’m going to draft some legislation and try to get congress to support it and put it up to a vote. I’ve never written laws before so forgive me if it’s a bit brief.



HR Bill 800.85
sec. 1. Any member of congress that says rape is okay gets fired.
sec. 2. Seriously. Rape is horrible and bad.



Alright. Now to mail it to a bunch of congresspeople and see if I can get somebody to sponsor it or something. I don’t know how laws work.

Oh, Republicans! Volume #5,360,285

Posted on by
Reply

Move over, already way too overcrowded group of Republican politicians that have said horrible things in the last year, there’s a new Republican saying horrible things about rape and he’s here to defend your honor!



Georgia Rep. (they’re not always southern but they’re usually sothern) Phil Gingrey stepped up to the plate to defend Todd Akin’s awful “Legitimate Rape” comments.



In case you missed it, Todd Akin was running for Senate this summer and he said this on a news show –



“From what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment. But the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child.”



Now granted, this was in Missouri so he may have actually heard that from doctors but it was wrong.



Akin lost the election just like a half dozen other Republicans who said awful things about rape over the summer. It was actually pretty disturbing to see so many people in or trying to get into political office have such backwards views but it all mercifully died down once the election was over. OR DID IT?



Rep Gingrey felt poor Akin needed to be defended so he up and told the Marietta Journal that Todd Akin wasn’t completely off with his statement. Here’s the full quote.



“In Missouri, Todd Akin … was asked by a local news source about rape and he said, “Look, in a legitimate rape situation” — what he meant by legitimate rape was just look, someone can say I was raped: a scared-to-death 15-year-old that becomes impregnated by her boyfriend and then has to tell her parents, that’s pretty tough and might on some occasion say, “Hey, I was raped.” That’s what he meant when he said legitimate rape versus non-legitimate rape. I don’t find anything so horrible about that. But then he went on and said that in a situation of rape, of a legitimate rape, a woman’s body has a way of shutting down so the pregnancy would not occur. He’s partly right on that. …
And I’ve delivered lots of babies, and I know about these things. It is true. We tell infertile couples all the time that are having trouble conceiving because of the woman not ovulating, “Just relax. Drink a glass of wine. And don’t be so tense and uptight because all that adrenaline can cause you not to ovulate.” So he was partially right wasn’t he? But the fact that a woman may have already ovulated 12 hours before she is raped, you’re not going to prevent a pregnancy there by a woman’s body shutting anything down because the horse has already left the barn, so to speak. And yet the media took that and tore it apart.



Gingrey’s comment may have a little medical know-how than Akin’s but has the same fundamental flaw. These two are basically stating that the problem isn’t rape, it’s girls “crying rape” or using rape as an excuse.



See, the only real bulletproof defense in the abortion debate the pro choice side has is the whole “in instances of rape an incest” so Republicans have taken to trying to poke holes in that by trying to introduce the idea that rape doesn’t happen as much as you’d think it would when the exact opposite is true.



Frankly, I love these guys. I can’t tell you how glad I am that people like Phil Gingrey are out there speaking out for what they believe. With people like him, the republicans can purge every woman voter from the party by 2016.

I am so Fucking Burned Out on Politics

Posted on by
Reply

Okay.  Here’s the deal.  I’m not going to blog about any political stuff until this election is over this week.  

 

Really.  I’m totally serious.  

 

This was started as a comedy blog but with this being an election year and the whole gay marriage issue being on the ballot I’ve been getting more and more political.  It’s been super easy, too, considering every time a Republican politician opens their mouth they say some awful, demeaning thing about rape being okay.  

 

Not talking politics will be kind of hard.  With one week to go it’s the only thing that will be on the news and people’s Facebook news feeds will be full of political bullshit.  It’s on everybody’s minds but I just can’t bring myself to post about it anymore.  You can even get sick of your favorite food if you eat it every meal.  

 

No problem.  I’ll use this time to get back to the roots of this blog.  Posting fake responses to Craigslist job ads and poop jokes.  You know, write about stuff that really matters.  

 

So there you go.  For my last political rant in the election season I’ll predict some quotes from Republican politicians about rape we’ll hear in the next 8 days.  

 

“Come on.  We all know that there’s ‘rape’ and then there’s RAPE.  There’s a difference.”

 

“Being a mother is a full time job so when you think about it, rapists are really job creators.”

 

“I’m not saying women ask for it with how they dress but those Muslim ladies are covered head to toe and there are almost no reported rapes in middle eastern countries.”

 

“Maybe they should fight back harder.  I see ads for women’s self defense classes all the time.  I’m not saying it’s all on them but rape really is a two way street.  

 

Ugh.  Fucking republicans.  

Legitimate Rape Jokes

Posted on by
1

Here’s some news for you people who don’t have the internet, television or a conversation with anybody about politics in the last week. Republicans are really trying to soften the definition of rape.



It’s actually kind of creepy. First this Senate candidate in Missourah Todd Akin made his now incredibly famous remarks about a woman’s body shutting down in the case of a “legitimate rape”. Now VP candidate Paul Ryan calls rape “just another method of conception”. Earlier this year republicans were accused of waging a “war on women” but now they just narrowed their target down to rape victims, I guess.

legitimate asshole


With this unsettling contest of “which republic candidate can say the most horrific thing about rape” going on I can’t help but wonder on how Daniel Tosh feels about all this.


Think about it, two months ago Daniel Tosh made a rape joke onstage at the Laugh Factory and made fun of a heckler. Somebody blogged about it (inaccurately according laughspin, it went viral and Tosh became public enemy number 1. He still had some supporters, mostly stand up comics but the damage is done. He didn’t gain any new fans with this. Todd Akin said something way worse and he’s raised $100,000 in donations since the remarks. Paul Ryan said something way worse and it seems nobody but a couple people over at the Huffington Post even noticed.



What really makes what Akin and Ryan said worse is the fact that they have (or potentially will have) power to legislate laws concerning rape. Sure, Daniel Tosh shouldn’t have said what he did but at the end of the day he’s just a comedian. He may have used rape as subject matter for a joke but when you boil it down that’s all it was. A joke. So many people in the media vilified him but it’s not like he has any say in the laws concerning what governs rape, women’s reproductive health or general women’s rights. Akin and Ryan do and they’re getting treated with kid gloves compared to how Tosh got beat up by the media. If I was Daniel Tosh that would really get to me.



I guess the lesson here is that it’s not okay to say awful, dismissive things about rape unless you’re a republican politician. It’s Daniel’s fault he said that stuff in a comedy club. He should have said it on a morning news show or town hall meeting.