My Interview With Time’s Person of the Year

The time has come for Time to name it’s Person of the Year for 2011 and this time Time has decided that the most influential person of the year is The Protester.



The Protester takes a brief respite from protesting to pose for the cover of Time




While The Protester has been incredibly busy all over the world protesting things like inequality, injustice and unfairness, The Protester took a moment from their schedule to sit down with me for a brief interview about their new found fame, the art of protesting and their love life.


BILL YOUNG
Thanks for coming. I know you must be busy protesting things.

THE PROTESTER
Thanks for having me! I have been protesting a lot lately. There’s just so much to protest in this world. Keeps a concept busy. Idle hands, you know?

BY
You have been all over the world this year. Egypt, Greece, Libya, every major U.S. city. Where is your favorite place to protest?

TP
Each country has it’s charms, you know? It’s hard to pick. Every place has so much beauty that sticks in my memory. Watching the sun set in Egypt through the smokey haze of a burning cop car. The way the celebratory gunfire would ring through the night in Libya. Greece simply has the best Gyros. I love that cucumber sauce. I’d have to say the U.S. is probably my favorite though because I tend to die the least while protesting here.

BY
Things can get violent for you. You’ve been pelted with thousands of rubber bullets, tear gassed and pepper sprayed countless times, arrested repeatedly and murdered hundreds of times this year alone at the hands of The Police. Do you hold any animosity towards The Police?

TP
Listen, I know that seeing us on the news together that it looks like we must hate each other but The Police is doing his job and I’m doing mine. We’re coworkers.

BY
You do seem to spend a lot of time together.

TP
We work together.

BY
So is there any truth to the rumor that Perez Hilton saw you and The Police at a LA hotspot “sharing drinks, laughs and a quick kiss”?

TP
Like I said, we’re coworkers. Nothing more. I don’t even have time for relationships these days.

BY
So what’s next for The Protester?

TP
Well, I’ll be heading to Russia pretty soon. I know, Russia in the winter, it’s crazy but they have this whole rigged election going on and you go where the job takes you.

BY
Is there any place you wouldn’t protest?

TP
China. Definitely. I’m so needed there but I know when I am not welcome. No thanks(laughs)!

BY
Have any opportunities popped up for you since you’ve been bestowed the “Person of the Year” title?

TP
I am actually in the middle of recording an album right now of all my favorite protest chants. It should drop in a couple of months and it’ll have my chants from all over the world like “OUST!” and “Enough is Enough! Gaddafi’s time is up!”. My favorite to record so far is “This is what brutality looks like!” Kanye West produced that track.



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