Greetings, foolish mortals! I have to go to the Hennepin County Government Center today to pay a bunch of money for things so here’s an old blog from the dusty, yellowed pages of myspace! It all started when I was living with comedian and professional ghost tickler Mike Brody…

The following is a series of text messages sent between 10:50 AM and 11:32 AM. Our story begins as Brody and I make plans to see a movie tomorrow and I ask him about his date with his girlfriend the previous night…

BRODY: So where’s the movie playing?

ME: Lagoon and I get off work at 1:30 tomorrow. So did you “have” a “good time” last “night”?

ME: IFYOUKNOWWHATIMSAYIN!

ME: Eh? Wink wink?

ME: (nudge nudge)

ME: A little huh? A little what?

ME: If you think I am done YOU ARE SORELY MISTAKEN (panting and howling noises)!

ME: (roll stock footage of train going into tunnel, rocket blasting off, olympic diver executing a perfect double somersault etc.)

ME: (cue the New York Philharmonic.1812 Oveture booms throughout the auditorium)

BRODY: I don’t know. Why don’t you ask her she’s right here.

ME: (orchestra falls silent.First chair trombone picks up a plunger and places it on the horn) WOMP WAAAAHHHHHH ..

ME: Well thanks for stopping me before I started describing the fireworks display and the trained poodles jumping through a hoop.

WOMP WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH