Tag Archives: muppets

More Like Chick-fil-Gay AMIRITE?

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So The Muppets snubbed Chick-fil-A this week, cancelling a toy sponsorship deal with the fast food chain due to CEO Dan Cathy coming out and saying he’s against gay marriage.



Well, he didn’t say he’s against gay marriage. They rarely do. He said “”We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that…we know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”



So the Muppet company severed ties and said they’d donate their payment from Chick-fil-A to GLAAD. Good for them.



Now some people are saying that the Muppets shouldn’t get into political issues but it’s been public knowledge for a while that The Muppets have liberal leanings –



about 50,000 people shared this on George Takei’s facebook page today.





Also, if the Muppets should stay out of social issues, so should a greasy chicken shack.



What really gets me, though is that this is another example of people trying to oppress the gays by saying they “support traditional marriage.” Great. Support traditional marriage all you want. I support traditional marriage. I’m even a part of one! Here’s the difference between how I support traditional marriage and how Dan Cathy supports traditional marriage. I also support gay marriage.



Seriously. You can support both. You don’t have to choose one or the other. When Jena and I applied for a marriage license the guy behind the counter didn’t ask what we thought about gay marriage.



In fact, you don’t even need to support gay marriage. You can think whatever you want about gay marriage just don’t donate a bunch of money trying to make it harder for non-traditional families because in the end that’s all you’re doing. You’re making things harder for people you don’t like. You’re messing with them, bullying them.



So when Dan Cathy says “I support traditional marriage”, what he’s really saying is “I don’t like gay people so I spend a bunch of money making sure they’ll never be truly happy. I think I’m better than them so I make sure that they don’t get the same privileges as me. Gay people have never done anything to me. I’ve never been attacked by a bunch of homosexuals or robbed by a gay street gang. This war I’m helping wage against them is completely unprovoked.”



So thank you, Muppets. Hopefully society will recognize the union of same-sex couples and someday even gay Muppets can get married –



“Back to the lab, beaker! We can test out my new motorized butt-plug!”





Of course I wasn’t referring to Bert and Ernie. They’re just roommates.

Liberal Muppet Conspiracy

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I knew it. I fucking knew it. All those years of watching The Muppet Show and Muppet movies I could tell that they were brainwashing kids to grow up to be filthy, tree hugging liberals but I just couldn’t put together enough evidence to make my claims public. Thank god for Fox Business’ Follow the Money and their story on the new Muppet movie’s left leanings (click link for the video).


Busted, you bleeding heart muppets! You never had me fooled. I always knew Sweetums was just Michael Moore without his baseball cap.



If you think this is new, you’re dead wrong. The muppets have been infiltrating kids’ entertainment for years with their liberal agenda. Just look at the characters.


Animal: Obviously a long haired hippy.

Dr. Bunson Honeydew: Scientist. Probably believes in global warming and evolution.

Statler and Waldorf: Living high off social security with their balcony seat tickets.

Fozzie: Comedian. Possibly jewish.

Gonzo: Illegal alien.


It’s bad enough Sesame Street is teaching kids that poverty and AIDS exist. Figures that one of the largest corporations in the world (currently #226) would put out an anti corporation liberal agenda.

Sesame Skid Row

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Entertainment Weekly reports that Sesame Street will be introducing a new character named Lily. Lily’s an impoverished puppet “whose family faces an ongoing struggle with hunger issues.”

So hungry.

Lily will make her debut in a one hour primetime special that will “share the stories of real-life families to raise awareness of hunger issues in the United States, as well as strategies that have helped these families find food.”  The special also hopes to dispel the myth that poor people are misanthropic, crazed trash-dwellers.

Don't know how kids got that idea.

This is not the first time that Sesame Street has used Muppets to address social issues.  We all remember when Cookie Monster had to have his foot amputated (“D” is for Diabetes) or when Big Bird was committed for Schizophrenia and submitted to shock treatment until he could no longer see the “Snufflepagus”.

By the way, if you’re expecting a Bert and Ernie gay joke, you’re gonna be disappointed.  Some dead horses are just too badly beaten.

You may even remember a few years ago when Takalani Sesame, the South African co-production of Sesame Street, introduced Kami, the HIV positive Muppet.

It's okay! You can hug me!

Kami was introduced to help remove some of the stigmas associated with HIV/AIDS.  A great idea, seeing as HIV/AIDS is a huge problem in Africa and education is a great weapon against spread of the disease and mistreatment of it’s victims.  Of course, conservatives saw this, assumed that Kali would be shown on the US Sesame Street and freaked the fuck out but that’s a story for another day.  The point is that Muppets are a good way to teach kids about issues affecting society.  With that in mind, I have an idea for a couple of new cast members.

Ponder – The Muppet that had to move back in with his parents after college because of his useless Philosophy degree.

Emo – The Muppet with depression.  Teaches kids to not listen to shitty music.

Snookette – The Muppet that went on a reality show for fame and is now a constant tabloid punchline.

Turns out Sesame Street is in a real fucked up neighborhood.