I’ve mentioned in the past that any anti gay republican is without a doubt a huge closet homo but there’s been a story circulating recently about how Republican Virginia House of Delegates candidate Linda Wall admitted tohaving a lesbian affair with a minor

I use the term “lesbian affair” simply because it was in the title of the huffpo article linked. The proper term should be “holy shit this lady diddled a kid why isn’t she in jail for fuck’s sake?”

The “lesbian affair” happened when she was a middle school gym teacher which is weird because most female gym teachers are the paragon of heterosexuality. The affairee (affaired? person whom which the affair was also with?) was a student. So she had a “lesbian affair” with a middle school student.

In case you weren’t aware. Middle school is grade 6-8. Ages 11-14. Just so we’re all up on terminology, when you have sex with somebody who is 11-14 years old that’s not a “lesbian affair”, it’s a “child molestation”.

The question here is why is a child molester getting treated with the kid gloves (pun totally unintended)? My best guess is that when most guys think hear the words “lesbian affair” and thoughts drift to sexy lesbian times. Silk sheets, two women exploring each other… I’m getting off topic.

The point is that “lesbian affair” is a word trigger in the minds of men and that trigger is on the gun of an erection. In case any guys were wondering, this is Linda Wall.

Now that we got that out of the way, while Wall admits to the lesbian affair, stating that she “was” homosexual and smoked a lot of pot in the ’70s (I must’ve missed that scene in Reefer Madness), she’s “converted to Christianity, changed her sexual orientation and stopped using drugs”. She now describes herself as ex-gay.

First off, as much as Marcus Bachmann would love you to believe, you can’t shrug off the gay. Also, she’s not gay, she’s a criminal. Even if she was hot when it happened.

She probably wasn’t though. I’m just saying, gym teacher. No offense, Ms. Ganzhorn (my 7th grade gym teacher).