Tag Archives: joe biden

Are You Smarter Than The Onion?

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Pop quiz, kiddos! Below is a series of quotes from Vice President Joe Biden. Your job is to find out if you can tell which ones are actual quotes and which ones are quotes from The Onion. Answers at the bottom of the page!



1: “Signing the Affordable Care Act is a big fucking deal.”

2: “I’ve sure as shit made my fair share of mistakes.”

3: “One babe caught a glimpse of those rims after a Cinderella concert in ’86 and she couldn’t get into that backseat fast enough.”

4: “If you need any help on your pecs, let me know.”

5: “Spread your legs! You’re gonna be frisked!”

6: “Relaxation of Wall Street regulations will put y’all back in chains!”

7: I’ve been dying to hit Tijuana and check out a donkey show, I haven’t seen one since Teddy [Kennedy] and the guys took me down there when I was a freshman senator.”


Answers:
1: Real
2: Onion
3: Onion
4: Real
5: Real
6: Real
7: Both, actually. Huh.

Seriously Though What Does the Vice President do?

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Vice President Joe Biden and Congressman Paul Ryan are preparing to face off Thursday in the only Vice Presidential debate of the campaign. Finally, we’ll get to hear what the Vice President and his opponent think. Their policies, their plans, their…



Man, I’m honestly having a hard time getting into this. I didn’t even give a shit about the presidential debates. Why would I care about the VP debates? I don’t even know what the VP does, anyway.



That’s not (completely) true. I have the average American’s knowledge of the Vice President’s duties. I know he’s the next in line for presidency if something happens to the president and I think he also presides over the Senate or something.



Okay, just checked wikipedia. He’s totally the president of the senate. Presides over it and casts tiebreaking votes. That seems like it’s important, right? I’m going to read up on this some more and find out if there’s any other duties.



Hold up. Turns out all that Senate stuff is actually usually handled by the President Pro Tempore. The VP doesn’t even do most of the President of the Senate shit. So what, does he just sit in an office all day waiting for the president to die? Is that a job?



“Hey, Barry. How’s it going? Everything all right? No heart problems? Alright, then. Guess I’ll head back to my office.”





Okay, after more reading it turns out the VP has a bunch of informal duties. Aside from being a presidential advisor, the VP is also the president’s total bitch. Really. From the wikipedia article – “Under the American system the President is both head of state and head of government, and the ceremonial duties of the former position are often delegated to the Vice President. The Vice President may meet with other heads of state or attend state funerals in other countries, at times when the administration wishes to demonstrate concern or support but cannot send the President himself.”



So that’s what the VP does. All the bullshit busywork that the president doesn’t want to do. Okay.



Well now I want to watch the debate Thursday even less. Who wants to watch a couple of errand boys go at it? Granted, if Romney wins, Paul Ryan will totally be running things. Remember this –
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CSVSwSaypg&w=560&h=315]