Too Sexy for this Job

I don’t watch a lot of movies. It’s not that I have anything against them… it’s just that I don’t make time for them. In fact, I know so little about movies that some friends and I made a podcast where I’m forced to sit down and watch movies.

Frankly, putting me in the spotlight is the only way to get me to make time for something.

I’ve been told that I should see Erin Brockovich. No one ever tells me that I should see it because of the amazing cinematography or incredibly developed plot line. Most people tell me I should see it because I resemble the title character… that I’m an attractive, no-nonsense kind of woman that revels in her own sense of style and sexuality, who used to be an unwed mother.

i really like that top.

i really like that top.

Or, you know, trashy whore.

No, you guys. It’s cool. I know I’m a trashy whore. Fine- slut, if you prefer. I don’t get paid. But the point is, I’m somewhat attractive, comfortable in my sexuality, and sometimes I wear “slutty clothes.”

You know the kind I’m talking about… The shorts that go a little higher than normal. Exposed bellies. Peaking out thongs. A little too much cleavage.

Now, a large part of that is the environments I grew up in. Between my low-income neighborhood and the naked hippy commune of the RenFest, I truly didn’t understand that there were places that limited clothing could be an issue. It made for a very awkward conversation in my first corporate job, where I was told I knew better when I REALLY had no clue. I wish someone had given me a guide of some sort…

skirt

Honestly, I think you should be able to wear whatever you want to work so long as it isn’t dangerous to you or others, or affect your abilities to perform job related tasks. I wouldn’t go to work naked if I were a burger flipper, for example. I mean, imagine the grease burns.

And if you have a day where you need to get a lot done, go to work in a Batman costume. Because fucking BATMAN.

It’s my understanding that Erin Brockovich has to deal with these kind of issues, where people judge her by her clothing, decide she’s incapable because she’s a woman, a single mom, sexually confident, and attractive.

Which makes me really glad to hear they’re re-opening the Melissa Nelson case.

Sent in to me by alert reader Brandon K, I had seen this when it was on trial, and dismayed when I heard the results, but had not heard that it was being debated again. Here’s the run down- Nelson was working as a dental hygienist for Dr. Knight FOR 10 YEARS, until he decided she was a threat to his marriage and fired her.

Because he found her too attractive.

Now, nothing in the article, the case, or anything I can find says that she returned his affections. In fact, as far as I can tell, she deliberately ignored a few questions and comments regarding her sexual life.

But she’s pretty and a single mom, so you know she puts out.

Apparently, just by being around him, she was ruining his marriage. Which is really selfish of her, if you ask me. She should have covered up more, maybe even worn Muslim women’s clothing to work.

You know- a job hijab. A hijobjab.

Computerized Comedy

Some of you know that I have a fascination with computer animation. There’s something about that plastic, shiny world that just captivates me. Up to, and including computer animated Barbie.

She’s a Barbie girl, in her Barbie world.

It’s true. I love computer animated Barbie. I own several computer animated Barbie movies on VHS. It’s pretty much the only reason we still have a VCR.

Don’t judge me.

I admit, Barbie is pretty girly. I think most people agree I’m not much of a girly girl. I rarely wear dresses, and I could care less about my cuticles. I do own several pairs of heels, but usually only wear the flats. Heels are painful, and I can’t run in them. If the zombie apocalypse comes, I want to be able to out-run those fuckers.

However, I do applaude these guys:

They’re wearing the heels for height.

This is apparently (I haven’t verified it, but seems legit) a picture taken from Walk a Mile in her Shoes, an event to raise awareness of sexual assault. Seriously, major kudos. It takes a big man with tiny feet to do something like that.

Anyway, I bring up my fascination with computer animation because I found something I’m just not quite sure how I feel about it. It’s a computer animated show from Japan, and though my first reaction to it is “oooh… shiny….” after watching a couple episodes, I’m left blinking and confused.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you The Mole Brothers!
[youtube=http://youtu.be/pL13yhRjMqA]

Like, okay. I love vaudeville and slapstick, and I can definitely see how this has borrowed from those traditions. But usually, to do vaudeville, you need jokes that are, well, JOKES. They have a great set up and punchline delivery, but what they’re delivering is… well, it’s like ordering a unique dress and getting a fish. It’s unique, but not really something you can wear.

And I’m going to take a stance here. Slapstick is only really funny if it’s real people doing it. I know, I’m judging these performers based on their non-existence outside of conceptual, but if it can’t actually hurt them, what’s the point? Look, I hate to be a realist about this, but without the physical, there’s nothing to actually hurt. If there’s no pain, there’s no funny.

I guess my whole problem with the show is that it lacks substance. Nothing solid there. Just a lot of tossed around ideas.