Tag Archives: crime

“Gang of Juggalos” Sounds Like the Worst HBO Series Ever.

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The FBI has classified “Juggalos” as a gang. No lie. Juggalos.



For those of you who don’t know, Juggalos (or Juggalettes if you’re referring to the female version) are fans of Insane Clown Posse. A hillbilly rap group that likes to dress up like clowns and talk about killing people with hatchets. Even if you’re not familiar with the band, you’ve probably seen them skewered on SNL. When ICP released an infomercial about their yearly music festival “The Gathering of the Juggalos” on youtube (14 minutes but so worth it if you have the time)-



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNe11E_KiAk&w=560&h=315]



It led to brilliant SNL sketch (gotta click the link, sorry. Hulu won’t embed on here for some reason).

When ICP released this ridiculous video –



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs&w=560&h=315]



SNL came out with this. They also did a second Gathering parody. Seriously, there’s a writer on that show that’s got a total hard on for making fun of ICP.



Now that you know the band, let’s meet the fanbase and alleged crime syndicate. I present to you, the Juggalo –



The only thing I like more than awful music is making my face all itchy and pimply with clown makeup.





This is the Juggalo. They like listening to clowns rap, drinking Faygo for some reason and backyard wrestling. Being a juggalo is like it’s own subculture. They’re misunderstood (self proclaimed. Most people understand them perfectly) and they refer to other Juggalos as family. A family bonded in listening to shit music.



The FBI has classified them as a “loosely-organized hybrid gang” because a few ICP fans have committed crimes. The Insane Clown Posse has claimed this has led to government harassment of all Juggalos, most of whom are perfectly law abiding, makeup wearing, Faygo swilling poker table smashing hillbillies.



ICP is actually planning to file a lawsuit against the FBI for labeling their fans as a gang and… I hate to admit it, but they’re right.



As much as I’d love for it to be true, listening to shitty music isn’t a crime. Enjoying ICP doesn’t make you a gang just like enjoying Marilyn Manson ten years ago didn’t make you a school shooter. Just because a small portion of their fanbase has committed crimes it doesn’t warrant the FBI to label everybody who listens to that garbage.



I’m going to have to keep an eye on how this whole story develops. Guess I’ll start watching the Juggalo News Network –



[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqiERLLl-N0&w=560&h=315]



…I honestly don’t know if that’s satire of if that’s actually for ICP fans.

FREE JULIAN ASSANGE BECAUSE… well…

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Julian Assange, the weird albino creator of Wikileaks has been holed up in the Ecuadoran Embassy in London since June 19th because British authorities want to have him extradited to Sweden! Swedish authorities have been trying to put him in prison for years now simply because he made Wikileaks!



Wait… what’s that? Sweden just wants him to stand trial after he skipped bail on rape and assault charges from two different women?



That’s weird because PolanskiImeanAssange supporters are making this sound like some free speech battle or something.



Huh. Crazy. So just so we’re clear, Julian Assange was charged with rape, went to jail in England, paid bail and sought asylum so he couldn’t be extradited to Sweden to stand trial. He’s not fleeing some trumped up charges or false imprisonment, he’s simply avoiding facing the charges against him in court. He hasn’t even been found guilty or sentenced for anything.



So basically all these people protesting and getting arrested in England are defending a man because he doesn’t want to stand trial when a couple of chicks said he raped them?



Anonymous fights for free speech unless that speech is coming from a woman that said Julian Assange raped her.





These people won’t rest until Julian Assange is placed above the system.





“You can arrest me but you’ll never arrest Julian Assange for a way, way worse crime!”





Granted, the the case is a little murky and there is a chance that he’s being targeted because he’s a high profile individual but that doesn’t put him above the law. If I got charged with rape I couldn’t just run to an embassy even if the charges were trumped up. I’d have to stand trial. That’s how this shit works.



The other factor at play here is that you can’t be sure if the charges are false. If this actually did happen not only did he commit a crime but he pretty much kicked the victims while they were down with all this running, hiding and protests.



I kind of understand where his supporters are coming from, though. It’s hard to look at the man and think he could successfully force himself upon a woman –



He just don’t look that rapey.