J.K. Rowling to Release Novel for People Who Like Boring Things

Publisher Little, Brown revealed that J.K. Rowling will be releasing a new novel this fall entitled “Casual Vacancy”. The novel, set in a non magical English town, will be released in who gives a shit it’s not Harry Potter.



Rowling, who became an international sensation with her series of Harry Potter novels said that this will be her first novel for adults as it lacks any of the aspects of her Harry Potter series that was interesting or fun.



Here’s the publisher’s synopsis of the plot:
The Casual Vacancy


When Barry Fairweather dies unexpectedly in his early forties but not by dementors or Voldemort or anything like that, the little town of Pagford is left in shock.

Pagford is, seemingly, an English idyll, with a cobbled market square and an ancient abbey where the mail is delivered by stupid postmen instead of awesome owls and brooms are only used for sweeping. What lies behind the pretty, non magical façade is a town at war but not the kind were people shoot lightning bolts out of wands at each other.

Rich at war with poor, teenagers at war with their parents, wives at war with their husbands, teachers at war with their pupils…Pagford is not what it first seems. Not in the way where that train station in The Sorcerer’s Stone was not what it seemed with the wall that was actually a doorway. This is more of a metaphoric “not what it seems”.

And the empty seat left by Barry on the parish council soon becomes the catalyst for the biggest war the town has yet seen. Again, the term “war” is used solely as a metaphor here. Not like the actual war between the Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters. This is really just people yelling at each other and lying about thing. Who will triumph in an election fraught with passion, duplicity and unexpected revelations (none of which are magical)?



The book will be available in September and will be simultaneously released as a hardback, an e-book, an audio download, a book on CD, and as a giant suppository.



Photo of Michael Jordan wearing a Washington Wizards jersey.