You Need Help

For far too long I’ve watched from the sidelines and didn’t say anything because I felt it wasn’t my place. It’s been killing me inside to see you like this and it’s time I said something. You’re being abused by your football team.


Face it, it’s true. The Minnesota Vikings are abusing you and you’re just allowing them to walk all over you. I don’t know much about football but even I know if you’re a fan of a team that’s 2-8 this season and lost 19 of their last 27 games something is seriously wrong.


Again, you might think I’m being out of place since I’m not a football fan. You think I might not understand. It’s true that I really don’t care about football but I do like comic books and if Batman got the shit kicked out of him eight out of every ten issues I would start reading another comic book.


As if the losing record wasn’t enough, the Vikings are actually trying to bully you into buying them a new stadium. I saw the commercial last week watching a game. It played on nearly every commercial break.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPcbnkilOds&w=560&h=315]
Sweet words but do you think a new stadium is going to make it all better? The stadium isn’t the problem, the Vikings are the problem.


This isn’t new, either. The Vikings have never won a superbowl for you and you still stand by them. You can argue all you want and tell me that while they’ve never won a superbowl that they’ve played in four but the last one they’ve seen was in 1977. How old were you? Were you even alive?


They keep treating you like this and you keep cheering for them. You’re enabling them. This needs to stop. You can just as easily root for another team. When you think about it, the reasons for most sports fandom is pretty arbitrary and solely based on geographic location so what’s stopping you from supporting another team? Pick one that wins a lot, maybe one that has a logo you think is cool or just throw a dart at a board with a bunch of names taped to it. I don’t care, anything has to be better than the abuse you’re enduring.


Just don’t root for the Packers. Seriously. Fuck those guys.


Viktor the Abuser. I really only put this picture here because posts with pics statistically get more hits so here you go.