I hate this place.
I’m not just saying that because my wife has expressed jealousy that she’s not here, this whole area is just awful. It’s been the worst week of my life and I want to get out of here. Just look at some of the shit I’ve had to put up with in the last 7 days.
Stupid ocean.
This area’s home to some of the largest coral reefs in the world. I hate it.
Stupid hammock.
Hammocks suck so bad you have a hard time staying awake in them.
Stupid swing chair.
At La Buena Vida, the bar stools are swings and there’s tree houses you can sit in and order drinks by lowering a bucket down on a rope. The food and drinks are super tasty and affordable and the staff is friendly. I hate it.
Pfft.
Building stupid sandcastles on a stupid picturesque beach. Whatever.
Stupid pool.
Hanging out at the pool behind the Casa Del Sol with my friends. Not my idea of fun.
The waterfall's loud.
Hanging out in the backyard of Casa Del Sol, the five bedroom house we’ve been staying at. There’s a pool and waterfall in the backyard and a path leading to a stupid lagoon where you can swim with a bunch of tropical fish or whatever. The Grateful Dead used to stay here or something. I hate it. There’s too many kitchens.
Who has fun drinking?
Drinking with my friend Chris. You can get a decent bottle of rum here for like 7 bucks. Booze has been flowing freely in the house and we’ve had parties almost every night. It sucks.
I can’t wait until this festival’s over. I hate comedy.
HAH! SUCKER!
Up here in Minnesota we have DRIZZLE and CHILL. Oh man, I’ma run around in that shit. Back now. >coff< Oh yeah, that's the action *sneeze*
And while YOU have been moping around in the surf, gettin' all that SUNSHINE and crap, we've been listening to your wife PISS AND MOAN about how much she HATES you and how much she MISSES you.
And tonight a bunch of us get to go party at YOUR house and watch your spouse get stupid weepy drunk and pass out mumbling "Oh GAWD I miss him SO much an' I'll KILL him when he gets home!"
You are SO dumb down there in Mexico with your booze and bikinis and shit.
Hey, is that sleet outside? Gotta run!
Your face is fantastic at the beach. I’m sorry you’re having a terrible time, but you’ll be home soon!
Hey Bill,
Don’t forget the Cuban cigars…
Dad
And your dad has just guaranteed a thorough check at customs at MSP International when you get back. Hilarity continues to ensue! *chuckle*
I like the faded North Stars t shirt.