I was searching through the craigslist want ads searching for that coveted “Videogame Tester / Candy Taster” job that I always seem to just miss when I saw an ad that said “Top Bloggers / Writers Needed”.

Well, I’m a blogger / writer. Whether or not I’m top is a matter of opinion and my opinion says yes so let’s read on.

“Currently looking to add two quality bloggers/writers to our already growing staff! ConverSextion is a tasteful site based out of Chicago for adults to openly talk about dating, sex, and romance. All applicants must provide at least one sample of their work. For more information or to apply please visit www.ConverSextion.com. Pay is per story.

Compensation: $15-$25
Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.”

Well now we have a problem. I think everybody knows I’m a virgin. I’m not ashamed of it. Jena said that we should wait until our 10th anniversary to have sex so it will be special and I agree. I just need to make up a sexy story. Shouldn’t be too hard. Let’s do this. I shall write the story in italics because everybody knows it’s the sexiest typeface.

I’ll never forget that time I had sex with this girl. She was so sexy. I saw her at this hip singles bar I hang out at with my friends. There’s always a ton of girls there who love to have sex. She looked at me with her eyes in a sexy way. The kind of way that says “we should totally have sex. Not right now, though because we’re in public and that would be weird. We should hang out for a little, have a conversation and then leave and have sex at your place or my place. My place is kind of messy, though, and I have a cat so if you’re allergic and don’t have any Claritin on you we should probably have sex at your place. However, if you’re not allergic and don’t mind some laundry on the floor we should go to my place because I only live like a block from here and have a really comfortable bed. It was on sale. Normally you’d pay $500 for a mattress like this but I got the mattress and box frame for $300. They even delivered it for free.”



I’d seen that look a million times.



I walked up to her and offered to buy her a drink. She accepted and I asked the bartender for a Sex on the Beach and then gave her a look to convey that although the drink on it’s own is tasty, I ordered it to express sexual intentions. The bartender brought her the drink and I paid for it, tipping generously to show that I have a lot of disposable income and because he brought it pretty fast even though there were a lot of people ordering drinks.

We talked about various sexy things. Edible panties, flavored lubricants and fuzzy handcuffs. After a few minutes of sexy conversation with the bartender I thanked him for his time but suggested he get back to serving other people. I then turned my attention to the girl and talked with her for a while. She thanked me for the drink and said that most guys don’t usually do that sort of thing for girls. I told her that I wasn’t like most guys and then suggested we head someplace a little more private, like a bedroom.



We had so much sex that night. It lasted for hours. Just when I thought “there’s no way we could have any more sex” we had a bunch more sex. Our bodies mashed together nakidly and we sexed each other until we were completely unable to have any more sex.



The next morning we had some sex and then parted ways. She had her life to live and I had mine. She asked if she’d ever see me again and I told her that maybe she would. She then asked that if she saw me, could we have sex?



I looked into her sexy eyes and said “totally”.

Wish me luck in my new career as a sex story blogger!