Well, with Jena gone and with me having all this space, an extra bedroom and a need for more income I’ve started looking for a roommate. Having a roommate at 31 is a little different than having one at 25. I can’t exactly just have anybody crash here. I’m in a duplex with my landlord and her 6 year old daughter living right above me and I get to work at 7:00 AM. It wouldn’t really fit my life well to have somebody who parties every night. I’d like somebody a little laid back and easygoing. With all this in mind, I put together a “roommate wanted” ad to put on craigslist later today –



Have you ever wanted to live on a boat?!?

Me, too! Perhaps as new roommates we can sit on the porch of our lower duplex unit and talk about how cool it would be to live on a houseboat!



Recently single guy looking for somebody to rent the 2nd bedroom off of 27th and S. Garfield. Rent is $450 plus half utilities. Tips are appreciated but not required. The floors are all hardwood and I already paid the damage deposit so you’ll be required to keep your toenails trimmed to prevent scratching. There will be weekly inspections to make sure that they’re at a proper non-scratching length.



Dogs aren’t allowed. Cats are but I’m allergic. I can deal with it but as payment for the inconvenience I get to rename your cat whatever I want. You can still call the cat by it’s original name when I’m not around but when I’m in the house you will be required to address your cat by the name Thunderthighs Jackson.



I’ve put a strip of masking tape halfway down the refridgerator. You have the whole right side of the fridge to use and if anything goes on the left side it will be considered my food and be consumed with extreme prejudice.



I look forward to living with you, new roomie!



Thankfully I have a couple of friends who need a place to stay and somebody’s checking the place out Saturday so I don’t have to post this ad. Craigslist is just full of creepy weirdos.