As some of you may know, last week I started tracking the progress of my New Year’s Resolutions. It had a bit of a “>rocky start but this week I had no cold to keep me down so I only broke three of my resolutions instead of seven!



With no illness as an excuse, I can really look at last week as an indicator of which of these resolutions will be the hardest to overcome. These are the ones that will take the most willpower and work on my part. These are the mountains I have to climb, the demons I have to slay. These are –



* quit biting my fingernails.
* work out every day I’m not at my day job
* stop playing flash games



Wow. I get having a hard time with the workout thing. That’s pretty common. You tell somebody that you’re having a hard time getting to the gym everyday and they’ll probably nod in agreement or provide emotional support or whatever. Tell somebody you can’t stop biting your nails and you don’t get quite the warm reception. It’s just harder to explain because you really gain nothing from it. It doesn’t make you feel good, it’s not a drug, it’s just a thing some people do for some reason. Half the time I don’t even notice I’m doing it until the nail is in my mouth. My friend Brody once bought some clear nail polish that tasted like ass to stop biting his cuticles. Maybe I’ll get some of that.



The flash game addiction is slightly different. People get why you’d play stupid games on the internet but they just think you’re a loser. Nobody gives a shit if you give up playing free online games.



Thinking about it, I really should have started some serious addictions before the New Year to make it more interesting. Quitting heroin and prostitutes would have been a lot more compelling than “throwing my hands up in the air and saying ‘YES’ when I fart in the living room.”



By the way, I’m proud to report I haven’t done that all week. It’s been really hard.