Today (or yesterday. I’m not sure how time zones work in the old country) is/was the last day as Pope for Benedict XVI. After today the man known as Pope Benedict will be humble ol Pope Emeritus –
Time to trade in that gold embroidered silk chair for a gold embroidered silk rocking chair.
. Here’s a few of the things on his “to-do” list on his last day as pope:
* Finally get those two wisdom teeth extracted while he’s still on the Vatican dental plan
* Ride in the front seat of the popemobile just to see what it’s like up there.
* Take care of the recent Vatican Gay Network scandal because there’s nothing worse than priests having sex with consenting adults.
* Swipe some office supplies: Gold staplers, gold staples, jewel encrusted pens, post it notes.
* Excommunicate a few people.
* Perform exit interview in case he ever wants to reapply for papacy.
* Buy normal size hat.
* Delete all work emails with biographer Paula Broadwell.
* Really just lose his shit and tell God what he thinks right before he leaves.