My microwave oven is starting to crap out on me.



It’s an old thing. Jena had it when I moved in with her and got it as a hand me down years before that. It’s an old, beat up thing. It’s rotating plate keeps falling off it’s track, the door sticks, the compartment is tiny and it’s bell doesn’t go off sometimes when it’s done cooking.



Also, it’s an actual bell that goes off. No beep. Actual physical “ding”. This microwave might be older than I am.



Here’s the thing, though. As I was thinking that it’s about time we get a new microwave I realize I’ve never bought one in my entire life.



Nearly 13 years living as an adult on my own and I’ve never actually purchased a microwave. It’s just always been something that’s been to places I’ve moved into. Like a fridge or a sink, microwaves were always just there when I showed up. Sometimes they were nice, sometimes they were crappy. One time I moved in with a guy that didn’t have a microwave so I just learned to cook stuff with the stove and oven.



How the fuck did I go all this time without buying a microwave? I don’t even know how to start looking for one? Do I go to… Sears? Is that still a thing? Target? How much do these things cost?



Okay. This one’s fifty bucks –

And this one is $1200?




The only difference between the two is .6 cubic feet of space and the expensive one you can hang above a stove or something. Holy shit.



I’m in over my head. I can’t go out there and just buy a microwave with no experience. I’m just going to have to make my popcorn the old fashioned way and I don’t know what that is so I’ll just go to the movie theater more.