I love the English language. It’s complexities, it’s fluidity, it’s brashness in not adhering to its own rules, how you can just make up words because FREEDOM!!! First amendment, free speech, and all that.
Just remember- with free speech, sometimes you get what you pay for.
In the Young household, we tend to speak in internet, because we are all nerds and one of us is a teenager. Lots of memes quoted, talking in ERMAGERD, chat words…. If someone came over, they might not know what we’re saying, or how to talk to us.
Thank God we have the internet to help people speak internet.
The internet has all sorts of translators out there. I’m going to highlight just a few using the following sample text from this post:
It’s like 4am on Sunday last year, and I had been drunk damn near the whole weekend starting Thursday. I helped a friend with a bottle of tequila, and Matt comes by with what I think was a Dr. Fixit, so of course I drink that as well. It was Matt’s first time experiencing CON full on, and we ended up in CONsuite, looking out from the balcony, watching the nerds do their nerd things, and having a conversation about what CON was.
I left in as much of the translation as I could take.
FOR THE INTERNETS:
The ERMAHGERD translator– ERTS LERK 4ERM ERN SERNDER LERST YER, ERN I HERD BERN DRERNK DERMN NER TER WHERL WERKERND STERTERN THERSDER….
The lolcat translator– IT’S LIEK 4AM ON SUNDAI LAST YER, AN I HAD BEEN DRUNK DAMN NEAR TEH WHOLE WEEKEND STARTIN THURSDAI. I HELPD FREND WIF BOTTLE OV TEQUILA, AN MATT COMEZ BY WIF WUT I FINKZ WUZ DOCTA. FIXIT, SO OV COURSE I DRINK DAT AS WELL. IT WUZ MATT’S FURST TIEM EXPERIENCIN CON FULL ON, AN WE ENDD UP IN CONSUITE, LOOKIN OUT FRUM TEH BALCONY, WATCHIN TEH NERDZ DO THEIR NERD THINGS, AN HAVIN CONVERSASHUN BOUT WUT CON WUZ.
For the old school nerds, the L337 Speak converter– 17’$ L1|<3 44/\/\ 0|\| 5U|\|D4’/ L4$7 ‘/34r, 4|\|D 1 |-|4D b33|\|…
Lets try some dialects:
Pirate (a little broken)- It%u2019s like 4am on Sunday last year, ‘n I had be drunk damn ta hell near th’ whole shore leave startin’ Thursday. I helped a bucko wit’ a bottle ‘o tequila, ‘n Matt comes by wit’ what i reckon was a Dr. Fixit, so ‘o course I drink that as well. It was Matt%u2019s first the hour experiencin’ CON full on, ‘n we ended up in CONsuite, lookin’ out from th’ balcony, watchin’ th’ nerds do their nerd thin’s, ‘n havin’ a conversation ’bout what CON was.
Cockney– Lawd above! It’s like 4am on Sunday last year, an’ I ‘ad been drunk damn near da whole weekend startin’ Thursday. I ‘elped a friend wiv a bottle ov tequila, an’ Matt comes by wiv what I fnk was a Dr. Fixit, so ov caaahrse I drink what as well. It was Matt’s first time experiencin’ CON full on, an’ we ended up in CONsuite, lookin’ aaaht from da balcony, watchin’ da nerds do their nerd fngs, an’ ‘avin’ a conversashun abaaaht what CON was., innit.
Hell, go to the Dialectizer, and you can have your pick!
A couple other fun translator things:
Gizoogle.net- because you’ve always wanted to read YoungNotions in gangsta and be hip with the kids.
Bad Translator– Translates through several different languages til it gets back to you in English completely different. Like the worst game of telephone since the King James Bible.